It’s time we get real and talk about sex and coronavirus and how we can deal with it all in our relationships.
Who would have thought quarantining would be so damn exhausting? In my head, being stuck at home with my family, with no get togethers and no meetings and limited sports, sounded relaxing. Way more relaxing then the normal crazy that happens when you have school-aged children.
But I was wrong.
Oh. So. Wrong.
It is exhausting, right? By the time the Hubby and I get to bed at night, I’m soooo tired. And if I lay down for any period of time, you can bet I’ll be asleep within five minutes.
Sure puts a damper on your sex life, amiright?
I mean, fuck, the kids are here. All. The. Time. My Hubby is here most of the time. And while I love them all to pieces, when you’re never apart you kind of get a little… agitated with one another.
There’s a reason they say “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
So what are we to do when we’re all stuck together all the damn time?!
Well, I’m here to help you find a solution as we deal with…
Sex in the time of Coronavirus.
There’s a couple things that need addressed when we talk about sex and coronavirus. First and foremost, let’s address the exhaustion. Pandemic fatigue is a real thing. So be kind to yourself. And maybe put a little extra effort into self care. And understand that everyone is also going through it. Regardless of what we say, many of are not “fine” right now.
And that’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay.
But you know what can boost your mood and put a smile on your face? A little nookie!! So here are a few things to help you find ways to get it on, even when you’re never alone and fall asleep before the end of Jeopardy (#thisis40).
Stop Waiting Until Bedtime
Many of us seem to relate sex with bedtime and as we grow as a couple, sex outside of this time period can disappear. If I’m honest, it’s an issue at my house. Me? I love morning sex. The Hubby? Not so much. And unless we’re on vacation or something, mid-day sex is next to non-existent.
But moving your sex away from bedtime can be a blessing. You’re not as tired. You’re less cranky. And you have more energy. Plus, sometimes this is the only way to make it happen. Consider planning some morning sex, or maybe even scheduling a lunch-time rendezvous for a quickie while the kids watch whatever it is kids watch nowadays.
Get Out of the Bedroom
This is especially important for those of you with young children who may still be sleeping in your room or bed. Remember, sex doesn’t have to be limited to the bedroom!
When my oldest was born, the Hubby put a second shower head into our shower, making it more comfortable for us to be in there together. For that first year, I think most of our sex happened in that shower or in our shed, where we ended up putting a loveseat to make things a bit more comfortable.
Also consider the garage. Or maybe the basement. Or, if you’re still agile enough, even the backseat of the minivan!
Take Advantages of Opportunities
Opportunities for day-time sex are all around you, you just need to learn how to see them. And when it’s hard to get it on, you NEED to take advantages of them when they arise. Plus, spontaneous sex is fun af. It’s exciting. It’s hot. And it’s often a bit animalistic.
Don’t worry if you don’t get a lot of time. Quickies are fine. Hell, sometimes we need to take what we can get. So if the kids head outside on a bike ride, get to the bedroom. Are they settling in with a new movie? That’s the perfect time to sneak away for a little lovin’. Online class getting ready to start? You get the picture.
Grow Your Definition of Sex
We like to think that to keep things hot, we must have penis-in-vagina sex for it to count, but that is totally not the case. Oral sex, hand jobs, fingering, mutual masturbation, and using sex toys all count and give you the same benefits, both physical and emotional, as actual intercourse.
Plus it can make things a whole lot easier. Actually, when I think of my top five sexual experiences, one of them only involved a blow job and a few fingers in my pussy. So don’t think you have to go all out for it count. It’s okay to do the non-traditional and call it a night.
It’s also okay that if one of you is too tired or not feeling it or whatever, to simply assist with your partner’s pleasure and/or be okay if they take care of things themselves. Just don’t make this the norm.
Keep Things Simmering
Perhaps one of the most important things you can do for your relationship, regardless if it’s COVID season or not, is keep things between you and your partner at a low simmer. Don’t let those flames go out and you’ll already have sex on the mind. You’ll be excited about it and make sure to find the space, time, and energy to make it happen.
If you’re not sure how to turn up the heat, here are a few things to try:
- Flirt. Every. Damn. Day.
- Touch. When you walk past each other. When you’re cooking dinner. When you’re helping with homework.
- Kiss. Strive for at least two full minutes of kissing each day.
- Read erotica. It keeps your head in the game.
- Share a dirty little secret. It’ll keep you both thinking about each other all day.
- Masturbate. When you’re having orgasms on the regular, you’re more ready to have orgasms whenever.
It can be hard to ask your partner for something that’s lacking, but I can tell you, if you’re missing sex in your relationship, 97% of the time, your partner’s missing it, too. So talk to them! Work together to find a solution and then do it. And do it again!
Not sure how to talk to your partner about your needs? Then check out my newest ebook. You can get it for free here.
So there you have it, folks. Molly’s tips to dealing with sex and coronavirus and still staying sane and fucking your partner and washing your hands and homeschooling your kids and not hurting anyone and still trying to keep it all together.
Go have sex. It’ll help.
Or at least reduce your stress for a few hours. 🙂 If y’all have any tips to share, drop in the comments below!