Before we get started, a quick anatomy lesson. There’s the anus. The anus is held tightly closed by the sphincter muscles. Beyond the sphincter muscles in the rectum which is the very end of the digestive tract.
When you have anal sex, the penis, dildo, or fingers go into the rectum. And yes, the rectum is at times filled with stool. But only right before a bowel movement. All other times (unless you suffer from constipation), there are only trace amounts of stool in the rectum and it is not filled with poo.

1. Think about hygiene.

Any time you’re playing around or with the bum, cleanliness is important. So be sure to cleanse before and after play. Because, let’s face it, sometimes anal sex can get a little messy. To reduce the risk, you want to wait at least two hours after a bowel movement to engage in any type of anal play.

If you really want to ensure no mess, use an enema, which clears out the rectum of any lingering traces of poo and ensures a less messy experience.

2. Don’t go back and forth.

Since we’re talking about hygiene, it’s important that if your partner has a vulva and vagina, you keep anything from the butt region. So don’t finger her ass, then finger her pussy. Don’t put your dick in her bum then back in her vagina. The ass has certain bacteria that is fine in the bum, but can do some nasty things to a vagina.

If you feel you must go back and forth, wear a condom each time you engage in anal sex. The same goes for the mouth. I know porn shows ass-to-mouth play all the time, but remember porn is for entertainment, not education.


Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

3. Relaxation is important.

You’re ready to have anal sex the first time. You’re clean and anxious to get started. Now you need to relax and slow down. Anal sex will not be easy, nor will it be comfortable, if you’re tense.

So slow down. Engage in some extended foreplay. You want to be aroused before your partner even touches your anus. And when they do touch it, have them use their fingers to massage the anus and sphincter muscle. There are a lot of nerve endings, and it can feel pretty damn good.

4. You need some lube.

As this pleasure starts to build, grab some lubrication before you move toward penetration of even a finger.

Don’t hesitate to be generous.

5. Start small.

Whether you opt for a finger (with short, trimmed, smooth nails) or a sex toy, penetrate the ass with something small before you try anal sex the first time. Once the finger is lubed, push it slowly into the anus and past the sphincter muscle. Move slowly, just a fraction of an inch at a time, and you should feel the muscle relax and accommodate you. Once inserted, begin slowly moving in and out and see what kind of sensations it creates.

If you are aroused. And you’re using plenty of lube. And it’s only a finger or small toy, this should not cause pain. As your body gets used to the pleasure, increase to two fingers or a toy.

*The Vesper by Crave is not designed for anal play.

6. Anal sex starts slow.

When you’re ready to have anal sex the first time, lube both your bum and your partner’s penis. If your partner’s penis is on the larger side, this may be a big transition from the finger or toy you were just enjoying, so be sure to take it slow. Have your partner push in a little bit, then stop and allow your sphincter to relax and adjust to their girth.

Categories: Anal SexSex Tips

1 Comment

Ric Carter · at

I had used various butt plugs and other toys in my ass before I had anal for the first time, so it wasn’t all that hard. My friends Tim and Arlene had come to introduce me to doing it. They are very experienced with anal, so took their time lubing and fingering my ass, and stretching me to be able to take Tim’s cock. The feeling of his cock head popping inside was fascinating. He put his cock in a little at a time, slowly stroking in and out, until he was able to enter me with his full cock. Arlene was nice enough to stroke my cock as Tim fucked me, and I had a fantastic orgasm. Once fully inside, he found a nice comfortable speed to fuck me, and I have loved a cock in my ass ever since.

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