9 Things You Should Know Before You Have Anal Sex the First Time

1. Think about hygiene.

Any time you’re playing around or with the bum, cleanliness is important. So be sure to cleanse before and after play. Because, let’s face it, sometimes anal sex can get a little messy. To reduce the risk, you want to wait at least two hours after a bowel movement to engage in any type of anal play.

If you really want to ensure no mess, use an enema, which clears out the rectum of any lingering traces of poo and ensures a less messy experience.

2. Don’t go back and forth.

Since we’re talking about hygiene, it’s important that if your partner has a vulva and vagina, you keep anything from the butt region. So don’t finger her ass, then finger her pussy. Don’t put your dick in her bum then back in her vagina. The ass has certain bacteria that is fine in the bum, but can do some nasty things to a vagina.

If you feel you must go back and forth, wear a condom each time you engage in anal sex. The same goes for the mouth. I know porn shows ass-to-mouth play all the time, but remember porn is for entertainment, not education.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

3. Relaxation is important.

You’re ready to have anal sex the first time. You’re clean and anxious to get started. Now you need to relax and slow down. Anal sex will not be easy, nor will it be comfortable, if you’re tense.

So slow down. Engage in some extended foreplay. You want to be aroused before your partner even touches your anus. And when they do touch it, have them use their fingers to massage the anus and sphincter muscle. There are a lot of nerve endings, and it can feel pretty damn good.

4. You need some lube.

As this pleasure starts to build, grab some lubrication before you move toward penetration of even a finger.

Don’t hesitate to be generous.

5. Start small.

Whether you opt for a finger (with short, trimmed, smooth nails) or a sex toy, penetrate the ass with something small before you try anal sex the first time. Once the finger is lubed, push it slowly into the anus and past the sphincter muscle. Move slowly, just a fraction of an inch at a time, and you should feel the muscle relax and accommodate you. Once inserted, begin slowly moving in and out and see what kind of sensations it creates.

If you are aroused. And you’re using plenty of lube. And it’s only a finger or small toy, this should not cause pain. As your body gets used to the pleasure, increase to two fingers or a toy.

Photo by Gwen Mamanoleas on Unsplash*

*The Vesper by Crave is not designed for anal play.

6. Anal sex starts slow.

When you’re ready to have anal sex the first time, lube both your bum and your partner’s penis. If your partner’s penis is on the larger side, this may be a big transition from the finger or toy you were just enjoying, so be sure to take it slow. Have your partner push in a little bit, then stop and allow your sphincter to relax and adjust to their girth.

Continue, little bit by little bit until they’re fully inside. Once movement starts, listen to your body and make adjustments carefully.

7. Take control.

If you’ve done all the things and it hurts when your partner pushes into you (or they struggle to not push too hard), then you take control as the receiver. Don’t have your lover push into your anus, instead you push against them. This allows you to control the speed and depth of penetration, as well as the pace at the beginning.

As your partner gets deeper, don’t be afraid to rock just a little bit. This can increase your sensations and give you some pleasure while you’re waiting for your body to adjust. And add more lube at any point!

8. Experiment with positions.

When people think of anal sex the first time, they often think of doggy style. Which is fine. That’s a fun way to have anal sex, but it’s not the only way! So mix it up and experiment to see what feels the best and causes the least amount of discomfort (which should dissipate pretty quickly as you get started).

Missionary position is fun! Just pull your knees toward your armpits so your hips rotate up and make your bum more accessible to your partner (a pillow under the hips can help with that as well). Spooning is also an easy way to try anal sex the first time, as is any woman-on-top position, which gives you total control of depth and pace.

Photo by Reproductive Health Supplies Coalition on Unsplash

9. PSA regarding anal sex the first time.

Anal sex comes at a higher risk than vaginal sex. The skin is thinner and is more likely to experience micro-abrasions. Therefore if you’re not 100% sure of your lover’s sexual history, it is extremely important to wear a condom during anal sex.

So there you have it. Nine things you should do before you have anal sex the first time! Go slow. Have fun. Use lots of lube!

If you have any questions, drop them in the comments below!