Perhaps a woman shouldn’t be writing about the perfect blow job. After all, I’ve never had one. And I don’t have a solid grip on what they feel like (but I’ve got some damn good guesses). Some may say it’s a job for a man, but I’m not 100% sure about that. I don’t know if my Hubby has the slightest clue what I’m doing with my hands, mouth, tongue, and cheeks when I’m going down on him.

We’re talking about this today because being able to give good head is important. It’s important for your man, and that makes it important for your relationship. It may even be important for your self-esteem and your own sexuality.

See, I love giving head. It turns me on. And I know I’m not alone in that. I can take my Hubby in my mouth and within five minutes I’m dripping wet, ready to fuck, and I haven’t even been touched, except maybe for a hand rolled up in my hair.

One of the reasons I love it so much is because it’s sexy to give someone so much pleasure. To see them with their head thrown back, eyes shut, and mouth open. Just feeling, not thinking, no emotion, just pleasure. To know that I’m doing that… well, there are few things better.

So how do you get there?

Well, I’m here to tell you.

How to Give the Perfect Blow Job

As we get started on how to give him a blow job he’ll never forget, you must remember every man is different. I’m going to cover the basics of the blow job and discuss the different aspects of fellatio men have told me they enjoy most. But that doesn’t mean YOUR MAN will like everything in this guide, so take it for what it is. Try something else. Ask him what feels good. Find what works.

So without further ado, here’s everything you need to know to give him the best blow job ever.

BJ Tips: Understand penile anatomy and the male erogenous zones

Let’s take a moment to discuss the anatomy of the penis and the male erogenous zones. Starting with the penis: we have the shaft, of the main body of his cock. The skin of the shaft is sensitive, but it’s not the most sensitive part of his package.

Above the shaft, you find either his foreskin or, if he’s circumcised, the procedure scar. In uncircumcised men, the most sensitive part of the penis is where the outer foreskin meets the inner foreskin (if you’re not sure where this is, it’s where the skin changes color). In men who’ve been snipped, the circumcision scar is often their most sensitive spot.

Past the foreskin is the penile glans, what we commonly call the head of his cock. This, too, is super sensitive. To both pleasure and pain. If you really want to kick it up, pay attention to his frenulum, the area that joins the foreskin to the glans. It starts with the line at the top of the glans near the end of the urethra and looks like gathered skin.

Beyond the penis, you also have his testicles, or balls or nuts or whatever you want to call them. They, too, are sensitive and should not be ignored during oral sex. And you have his perineum, the small strip of skin between his testicles and his anus. It’s often lovingly referred to by many as the taint, because ‘taint the balls and ‘taint the ass.

So a quick recap on sensitivity. For most men, the sensitivity scale looks something like this, from most to least sensitive:

  • The inner foreskin or circumcision scar
  • The frenulum
  • The head
  • The shaft
  • The balls
  • The taint
man and woman after blow job
Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash

BJ Tips: Warm him up

A good blow job does not just start with you pulling him deep in your mouth. Instead, start slow and use your tongue. Maybe take a few swipes up and down his length. As you do this, keep your tongue wet and allow some spit to lube up his cock. This allows you to slide better once he’s between your lips.

After that, I like to start at the top and work my way down. Lick him around the head of his cock, like a lollipop. While this feels really good, it’s also a great visual for him, seeing your tongue against his manhood. It’s important to know that the physical sensations are only half the arousal that occurs with a blow job. For many men, the visual aspects are just as arousing.

As mentioned above, the head is often one of the most sensitive areas on his package, so pay it some attention. Lick around the glans and the rim. Be sure to hit his scar and frenulum. Play with it, lick it, tickle it, press your tongue against it.

BJ Tip: Don’t swallow… yet

So here’s the thing, when you suck his dick, you’re going to drool. This is good. Don’t try to swallow it. Let it drip down over his cock and your hands. Spit makes a fantastic lubricant.

If your mouth gets a little dry, push a little deeper on his cock until you gag. Your gag reflex makes you produce more saliva, giving you more spit and lube when you need it. And don’t ever worry about their being too much. There isn’t such a thing during a blow job.

BJ Tips: Add more mouth

Now that he’s warmed up, take him in your mouth. What you don’t want to do here is blow out your cheeks, creating lots of room in your mouth. Actually, you want to do almost the opposite.

When I surveyed men to find out what makes blow jobs great, the number one response was “more mouth.” More mouth does not mean more of their cock in your mouth. What it means is more of your mouth touching their cock.

So think about the inside of your vagina. Think about the warm, wet vaginal walls that surround his penis when he’s inside you. That’s what you want to mimic with your mouth. So suck those cheeks in. Use your tongue to cradle his dick. Wrap your mouth around his member, creating a snug little cave with as much skin on skin contact as possible.

BJ Tips: Use your tongue

To give a great blow job, you need to do more than put his dick in your mouth, regardless of how much mouth you offer. You also need to engage your tongue. You can move it around inside your mouth, flicking it across his sensitive areas as they pass or using it add a caress on his shaft as you move up and down, hitting different spots throughout your movements.

Try pressing your tongue against the whole of his cock, creating some extra pressure. Or, another favorite, let your lips leave his member on the upstroke, allowing the tongue to swirl around the head of his cock before dropping back down. This feels great and gives a memorable visual.

Find what works for you and your guy, but don’t be afraid to mix it up (just don’t change things up when he’s about to cum — more on this in a minute). Watch his reactions, see how he responds, and find what makes you both feel amazing.

BJ Tips: Don’t forget your hands

When it comes to length, your mouth falls short of the average penis by about two or three inches. And as much as you think you may want to deep throat, it really isn’t necessary and is harder than it looks. So what’s a lady to do when she wants to stimulate his whole package, but only half of it fits comfortably in her mouth?

She uses her hands.

Here’s how. Wrap your hand around the base of his penis (depending on his size, you may only need two fingers and a thumb) so when you take him as deep as is comfortable, your lips hit the top of your hand.

As you move your head up and down, have your hand follow. This basic move is easy to modify if you want to spice things up. Here are a few ideas.

  • When your hand is on a cock, it’s natural to apply more pressure on the way up to the tip, then loosen on the way down. Switch this pattern. Make the up motion the “softer” of the two, and tighten your hand and lips on the way down.
  • If you need a break, get lots of wetness on his cock, then twist your hand up and over the top of his head. Vary your pressure and gauge his response to see what feels best.
  • Try different patterns, movements, speed, and grip strength to see what he responds to and when. For instance, he may like a softer hand when you first start playing, but need something stronger and faster when he gets close to orgasm.
  • If you’re interested in having him fuck your mouth, use your hand as a buffer. It can protect you from gagging and offer a little cushioning to your lips and teeth.
blow job tips more mouth
Author’s image

BJ Tips: Don’t forget your lips

The lips might be one of the best secrets you have while performing a blow job. Unless he’s fucking your face or you’re bobbing your head super fast, keep your lips tight on his cock. When his cock pulls out of your mouth, try to make a “pop” noise.

To accomplish this, make an “Oh” shape with your lips and keep some pressure on his cock. This creates the sensation of a tight pussy and can make him feel oh-so-good.

Your lips also offer him that visual I mentioned above, especially if you have a contrasting lipstick on (just be sure its blow job proof so you don’t leave streaks in your wake).

If you struggle with teeth scraping (the biggest complaint men had in my survey), consider wrapping your lips around your teeth when you blow him. Sure it takes away from the visual, but it’s better than being in pain.

BJ Tips: Remember it’s not just his dick

A good blow job is so much more than sucking his dick. It’s playing with him. It’s turning him on and making him feel great. If you’re solely focused on just his cock, it’s time to expand your territory. 

  • His balls. The boys are sensitive, so be gentle unless he asks for more. Take them in your hand and gently roll them around. Tickle his sack, massaging his balls through the skin. Take one ball in your mouth, sucking gently, using your tongue while you stroke his shaft with your hand (remember to give them equal treatment). Run your tongue up the seam between them, another extra sensitive spot.
  • His taint. When you press the area between his balls and ass, it stimulates the prostate, giving it a gentle massage. While most men like it, some are not comfortable with this stimulation for one reason or another. Talk about it. Tell him you’d like to try. Remember consent works both ways. If he’s up for it, give it a firm massage and gauge his response. If he seems to like it, maybe deepen the massage by using a knuckle.You can read more about prostate play here.
  • His nipples. Reach up and play with your man’s nipples while his cock’s in your mouth. Men’s nipples are often overlooked, but they actually have as many nerve endings as women’s and create some awesome sensations when stimulated.
  • His ass. Tread carefully here. Like women’s, a man’s anus is filled with nerve endings and can be sensitive and pleasurable. But also like women, not every man will enjoy anal play. I’d suggest you discuss this with him before you go there. But if he is receptive, it can bring a lot of pleasure.

And the #1 Blow Job Tip… Be Enthusiastic!

The most important aspect of a good blow job is that you enjoy it. This is SOOO important, I’m going to say it again. If you enjoy giving him a blow job and he knows it, it’s going to take the whole experience up a notch.

So let him know that you’re having a good time sucking his cock. Let him know that it turns you on. Make eye contact. Pull his cock out of your mouth and smile at him. Tell him how much you love to suck his dick. Tell him how big and hard he is. Moan with him deep in your mouth. Touch yourself. Tell him how wet you are.

Let him know that there’s nothing else in the world you’d rather do. That at that moment, his dick in your mouth is like heaven.

BJ Tips: Finishing him off

The number one thing you can do wrong when your guy says, “I’m going to cum!” is to stop what you’re doing and do something different. If what you’re doing is getting your guy off, by the love all things sexy, keep fucking doing it! Don’t stop! Keep the same rhythm and let him do his thing.

Also, have a conversation with him before his dick’s in your mouth if you don’t want him to cum there. When you fail to let him know, he may assume you’re okay with it.

If he’s not going to finish in your mouth, use your hand on your final build up or let him take over the stroking.

If he does cum in your mouth, swallow it down as soon as possible. Spunk separates quickly and becomes tacky, neither of which are sexy. You may want to keep him in your mouth as he goes soft. But don’t move around too much. His cock may be overly sensitive.

If you want to make increase the odds of her swallowing your cum, make it taste better! Get my free cheat sheet here!

More blow job tips

A few final thoughts on giving good head:

  • Practice. The better you get at sucking cock, the more you come to love it.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask him what feels good. Do one thing and then another and ask which one he likes better. Play with your tempo and grip.
  • In many cases, you can be more rough then you realize. If you’re unsure, ask him to masturbate in front of you and see how he handles his own junk.
  • Pay attention to how he responds. Watch his face. Listen to his breathing. His muscle tension. Base your next steps on his body’s reactions.
  • If you struggle to maintain a rhythm or need to go faster than your head can move, try this. Put both hands on the bed while his cock is in your mouth. Push up and down on the bed so you’re sort of bouncing your head up and down. It’s a quicker motion and can take some strain off of the neck.
  • Feel free to touch yourself! Or let your lover touch you. This shows him that you’re excited. That’s you’re enjoying yourself. That you’re getting off on getting him off.

So give it a try! And come back here and let me know what worked for you and what didn’t. Share your favorite blow job tips in the comments!!

Are you ready to give the best head? Download my cheat sheet on blow jobs and have everything you need right at your fingertips!


2 Comments

Vince · at

I want to let you know how wonderful you are.

This is a great guide.

I disagree that women, like yourself should be discussing it.

Besides the man themselves, I think the best advice given would be that of their lover.

The bedroom, to me, is one place where people should have no inhibitions, insecurities, or fears. It should be a place of communication and understanding.

Again, this is wonderful.

Would you be able to write an updated one for delighting in the taste of females? This one was great

Carl Fredrickson · at

Your best suggestion is enthusiasm. That is the difference between boring and extra HOT!! Smiling deviously before and during is great. Also, act like you are enjoying yourself. Even if not, you’ll probably start having fun.
Molly, you must be some kind of lover. Your husband is extremely lucky to have you!

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