Blowjob 101: How You Can Set a Pace and Keep Rhythm

Here’s another post for you as we discuss ways to give a better blowjob. A few days ago, I posted about avoiding your teeth when giving head, and now we’re moving on to blowjob rhythm. So go ahead and check out my video. Be sure to like and subscribe while you’re there (it seriously does help me out!).

As always, if you’d rather read than watch, just keep scrolling!

You’re not a porn star.

I want to start by reminding you that porn is meant to entertain, not educate, and it’s no different when it comes to blowjobs. You are not a porn star (I’m guessing), and therefore your blowjob won’t look like a porn star’s.

What’s that mean?

It means you may not be able to deep throat. Or you may gag or even puke on someone if you try to take them too deep (yes, that’s speaking from experience). You may not be able to fit his whole cock in your mouth. You may not be able to keep it in your mouth for long periods of time. Face fucking may not be nearly as exciting as you thought, and you may unexpectedly panic if he puts his hand on the back of your head.

And that’s okay. All of it.

Your blow job doesn’t need to look like what you see in porn.

Blowjob rhythm techniques

When you give a blowjob, your partner’s penis doesn’t need to be in your mouth the whole time. I actually don’t recommend that. A good blowjob isn’t just sucking on his cock. It’s playing with all of his junk, his penis, shaft, balls, and taint. And using your hands, tongue, lips, and mouth!

• You set the pace. Know that some men cum quickly, while others can’t get off from head at all. But it doesn’t matter because you set the pace of the experience. Remember it’s not a sprint but a marathon.
• It can a part or the whole. Oral sex doesn’t need to be the only aspect of sexual play you engage in during a session. Although it totally can be. It’s up to you and your lover. It can be a part of your foreplay, or it can be the main course.
• Don’t start too quick. Don’t drop down on him and start bobbing up and down immediately. Instead, take your time. Lick and kiss all over. Explore with your hands, with your mouth, tongue and lips. Not only does this make a better blowjob, but your jaw won’t tire as quickly as his arousal builds.
• Take a break. When your mouth does get tired, take a break! Use a hand in place of your mouth. Stroke him, play with his balls, focus on the head or the frenulum. It’s okay if his dick isn’t buried in your mouth the whole time.
• Know his grip and pace pattern. If your partner uses a fast pace or tight grip to reach orgasm, you may not be able to do it with your mouth. When this is the case, allow him to take over. He can use his hand while you focus your oral attention on other erogenous zones. You can suckle his balls, lick the head of his cock, or whisper dirty things in his ear while you play with nipples. When he gets close, then you can jump back in and take over.
• Use the bed to your advantage. Have your partner on his back on the bed. With his dick in your mouth, use your hands to get the bed bouncing. You may get a faster pace with the bed bounce than you can with your neck movement and keep a better blowjob rhythm.
• Let him move. Let him take over the motion, whether that means he has a hand gently on the back of your head or he thrusts his cock in your mouth. He knows the blow job rhythm he needs to get close and may be able to make it happen way more effectively than you can. If you’re worried about depth, use your hand around his shaft or braced on his groin to act as a stopper.
• Add in a toy. Sex toys work on men, too! Anything vibrating should work, but consider the Manta (which is part of Fun Factory’s Blow and Glow kit), as it’s designed to stroke his shaft. You can also use a vibrating cock ring like the Nos, which comes in the same kit as the Manta. Use it anywhere he likes, including around the head, on his shaft, around the ridge, on his taint, etc.
• Don’t worry too much. It can take a while to get the hang of finding a blowjob rhythm. Especially if your partner takes a long time to reach orgasm or needs something specific to bring him to climax. Don’t stress out about it. Instead, use open communication to discuss the situation and how you can improve it together.
• Be creative! Don’t limit yourself to what you think it should look like, instead just have fun!

Need more help? Download my blowjob cheat sheet or email me to schedule a coaching session. The first one is always free!