I’ve had a strange relationship with my breasts and nipple play throughout the years. I always had large breasts and was one of the first girls in school to have to wear a bra. Once in high school, my breasts went hand in hand with lots of comments and ogling.

This made me disconnect with my boobs. I cared less that they were there, and often wished I was a girl with itty-bitty titties. So for years, and I mean YEARS, nipple play didn’t do a whole lot for me. It felt nice, even good at times times, but overall, it wasn’t going to get me anywhere.

At 23, I got my nipples pierced. To my surprise, it significantly increased the pleasure I felt through nipple play.

Then I got pregnant and I took my rings out. Then I got pregnant again. And again. I breastfed all three of them. This meant that my boobs got even bigger. REALLY big, like legit, two basketballs under my shirt big.

I’d hear comments from my male friends, or my husband’s friends when they didn’t think I was listening. Things about motor boating and titty fucking, and blah, blah, blah. It made me start to hate them.

They were in my way all the time. Made my back hurt. Fucked with my golf swing. And if you know anything about breastfeeding, you know that after a while, the nipples become calloused from the baby suckling.

When this happens, over and over again, the nipples become desensitized due to nerve damage.

So, for a long time, I barely even noticed nipple play. Could barely feel it. Even today, you’d be impressed with how hard my nipples can be squeezed, tugged, and pulled without even a wince from me. But then one day, my Hubby started playing with them during sex and, suddenly I was gushing all over him.

And it didn’t stop. Now, I absolutely LOVE my nipples being played with. Never in my first 15+ years of masturbating, did I ever play with my nipples. Now I do it all the time. I crave it. I don’t know what happened, and I don’t know why, all I know is I’m so happy about it.

To help you get the best experience possible, I’m covering everything you ever wanted to know about nipple play.

Your Guide to Nipple Play

nippple playStarting Off

As with anything sexual, always follow your partner’s lead. Watch for signs that they like it (sighs, moans, intake of breath, etc) or that they don’t. If you don’t know your lover’s preference with nipple play, it’s best to start slow and gentle.

You can always ask what they like. If they’re hesitant to verbalize their preferences, then ask them to moan when it feels extra good.

Play with the Breath

Many men and women find it exciting to have their nipples blown on. This is especially true after the breath follows your mouth, it can send chills through a body when the cool air hits the moisture.

You can switch making it feel cool (purse your lips together and blow hard) and warm (mouth open, close to the skin, breathing slow) and create different sensations for your lover.

nipple playBegin Touching

You can begin by touching your lover with your fingers, your whole hand, or your tongue, but pay attention to the response of his or her body. Nipples respond whether we want them to or not. They will grow, harden, tighten, lengthen. Watch for these responses, and proceed accordingly.

Start slow, and build up. Increase pressure. Speed. Start at the edge of her breast, where the curve begins.  Massage, rolling your fingers in, towards her nipple. Circle around the areola, closing in the nipple itself.

Change between caresses, making small circles around the nipple to a slight pinch or tug. I personally enjoy a pulling twist. Roll the nipple back and forth between your finger and thumb. Vary the pressure. Again, watch and respond to what your partner is feeling.

Another strategy is to start at the inside and go out.  If his nipples are sensitive (and they are, men have just as many nerves endings in their nipples as women), you can start with the nipple. Play with it. Gently twist it, pull it. As his pleasure increases, widen your grasp before closing in on the nipple, eventually massaging all of his pec.

Play around. See what works for you and your lover Mix it up.  Experiment.

nipple playPinch and Pull

Some people, like me, love their nipples being pinched. Others don’t. Start slowly, with gentle pressure, pinch and hold. Maybe pull. Vary the pressure and the length. Go slowly, especially at first. If you’re pinching hard, the blood rushing back into the nipple creates a unique experience, which some will love and others will find very uncomfortable.

Play with this too, varying all the different aspects. Find out what you like. Some like a slow hard pinch, with a gentle release. Others like a quick, hard pinch, followed by a long, drawn out pull. Who knows maybe you’ll like all the variations.

Put Your Lips on It

If nipples respond to manual play, oral play can be even more exciting. Again, start slow and gentle. Begin with your lips, brushing against the nipple. Slightly open your lips around the nipple, lick it with your tongue.

Use different motions, running your tongue around the nipple, using the tip of your tongue to flick across it, or flattening your tongue and running it along the nipple.

Suck on them. Lightly at first (the first boy to suck on my nipples, when I was 13, left huge hickies on both my breasts. He was an impressive 16 to my 14 and, although the sucking so hard it hurt, I was too nervous to ask him to stop. Increase the pressure slowly and mix it up by still using your tongue to play with it.

Take It Between Your Teeth

Some people, I dare say many, like a little biting when it comes to nipple play. Lightly scrap your teeth along the edges of the nipple, from bottom to top. Or you can grip the nipple between your teeth and use your tongue to do circles around it while the nipple is in your mouth.

If you’d like to go further, start with a gentle bite, maybe with a slight pulling back of your head, creating pressure from both the tugging and the teeth. Watch for the response. Maybe you go harder, maybe not.

nipple clampsAdd Some Kink

Kink and nipples have a long history and their relationship comes in many forms. Playing with temperature is a not-too-crazy kink to start with. Grab some hot tea and ice cubes. Take a drink of the hot liquid, then put your mouth on her nipple. Play a bit. Get an ice cube in your hand and, after taking your warm mouth away, gently place the ice on her nipple. Watch her squirm.

Keep in mind that ice can cause numbing pretty quick, so you may want to start with just a few seconds or so at a time. You can step this game up a notch by playing with wax (please make sure it’s body wax, as it cools quickly, regular candle wax can burn skin, especially when it is as sensitive as  skin around your nipple).

Then there are the clamps. They come in many styles and strengths. There are clamps that go on each nipple separately. Clamps that are joined with a chain, designed to be pulled on. There are clothes-pin style clamps. Clover clamps. C clamps. Adjustable clamps. Vibrating clamps. And even electric shock clamps.

There are more extreme kinks, some focused on nipple torture rather than nipple pleasure. But, as many of us know… It’s a thin line between the two. If you do decide to play with clamps, remember they force the blood out of the nipple. When removed, especially those that pinch very tight, they create more painful sensation than the clamps themselves. Be careful.

Molly’s Final Thoughts

To the ladies out there, remember nipple play is not just for you.  Men love to have their nipples played with, too. I have an upcoming post on nipple torture and nipple orgasms, on both giving and receiving, so keep your eyes out for those in the next few weeks.

Until then, keep on lovin’.

Are you ready to have the sex you’ve always wanted? Get my FREE ebook all about how to talk to your partner and building the sex you’ve dreamed of! 


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