The ultimate guide to prostate play and your man’s pleasure center.
Before we get started, I need to let you know a few things. If you are reading about prostate play, I’m going to assume a few things about you. That you’re relatively sexually experienced. That you enjoy sex, are comfortable with your body, and interested in giving your partner pleasure.
If any of those are wrong, I’m sorry. You can still a lot by reading this, but beware, I make you blush. The topic at hand can make some people a little squeamish. You’ve been warned.
Prostate Play: An Anatomy Lesson
Let’s start at with a quick lesson in anatomy. After all, if you’re going to play with your man’s pleasure parts, you need to know where to find them.
So, the male prostate. What is it? The prostate is a gland you can feel two to three inches into a man’s anus (on the front wall, towards his belly). It’s responsible for a variety of things, but for our purposes, you should know that the prostate makes a lot of the fluid that goes into a man’s ejaculate and that when a man’s excited, his prostate swells. Massaging it can bring intense pleasure.
The perineum, commonly called “the taint,” is the area between his anus and his balls (called the taint because “t’aint the ass and t’aint the balls.” Applying pressure to the perineum during sexual play is an easy way to indirectly stimulate the prostate.
Prostate Play Tip: Next time you’re giving him head, reach between his balls and rub circles on his taint with your thumb. Remember, the prostate is two to three inches deep, so don’t be shy. If you’re not feeling the thumb, try a knuckle.
Understand that taint stimulation, from what I’m told, is next to nothing compared to actual stimulation of the prostate. Keep that in mind if you enjoy taint play and are still hesitant to go any further.
The final stop on our anatomy train is the anus. Located beneath the balls and the strip of skin called the taint is the anus. It often looks like puckered skin and could be said to resemble a sunburst. Maybe.
Prostate Play: Let the Games Begin
Prepare by trimming your nails short and filing them smooth. If you’ve ever been fingered by a guy with a sharp nail, you know the pain it can bring. Now imagine that in your ass. So, again, trim and file. It’ll only take a moment and it well with the time.
Now let’s talk about some direct stimulation. Some of you may freak out a bit, but hear me out. Because if you and your guy are willing to give this a try, his orgasms will be amazing (many people say two to three times stronger than a regular orgasm).
You’ll want to start by playing with his ass. More specifically, his anus. Massage around the opening. Press against it. Begin gently with this, and don’t worry about actually penetrating him yet. If your guy hasn’t experienced anal play before, there’s a possibility he’s going to be psychologically uncomfortable with ass play, so just spend some time exploring the sensations of stimulating the anal area until he’s relaxed and enjoying it.
Once you’re both comfortable with this bit of ass play, it’s time to move forward. Lube your hand up. Use lots of lube. Lots. And the thicker the better when dealing with anal play.
Prostate Play Tip: When engaging in any type of anal play, from prostate pleasure to anal sex, opt for thicker lube during anal sex as it doesn’t dry out as quick and lasts significantly longer.
Go slow. Just start with one finger, going in a little at a time. It takes time for the sphincter muscles around the outside of anus to relax, so waiting just a few moments during penetration can make a huge difference.
Once your finger is fully inserted, feel around for the prostate gland. It’s a small, chestnut-shaped, sponging-like bump on the front wall of his rectum.
Different Strokes for Different Folks
Like anything in life, and especially sex, different things feel better for different people. Here are some of the common ways to touch and massage the prostate:
- Constant Pressure: You can accomplish this by pressing continuously on the prostate. Vary the pressure and watch your partner to see how they respond.
- Thrusting: Use small thrusting motions with your fingers, moving them toward the prostate.
- Come Hither Motion: Move your finger in the same motion you use when asking someone to “come here.” This is also the same motion used to stimulate the G-spot, which is similar both in design and pleasure point a man’s prostate, and make a woman’ squirt.
- Squeezing: Once a man’s aroused, his prostate swells. Use a squeezing, or milking, type of motion on the prostate. It’s easier to do by starting at the top of the gland, then pushing down toward the bottom.
- Mix It Up: Play around. Find what works for you and your partner. One thing may feel better at the beginning then a different type of stimulation once he’s closer to orgasm.
Prostate Play: Molly’s Final Thoughts
- You must be comfortable. If you’re concerned about prostate play being unclean, take a shower before engaging. Not only does this guarantee cleanliness, it can help you relax.
- Make sure everyone’s turned on. Don’t go for the prostate as the first step in foreplay. Take your time and work up to it.
- And you can always consider rimming as an intro to ass play. It feels good and if you know and trust, it’s definitely enjoyable. Hell, maybe he’ll return the favor.
- Prostate massage may feel odd the first time, as all the sensations are so different. It may take a few times for the intense pleasure to fully manifest. But, from what I’ve been told, the means justify the end.
- There are a TON of toys made specifically for prostate stimulation. There are butt plugs designed with a curve and small thin insertables that look as though they feel fantastic.
- Don’t forget to stroke his cock well all of this is going on. A slow and rhythmic hand job paired with a two-finger prostate massage can push him over the top.
- Always wash with soap and water afterwards.
The prostate’s filled with nerve endings, so it naturally feels good to touch.
There’s so much taboo about anal play, especially when men are on the receiving end. But don’t let repressive cultural stigmas get in your way of trying something new. I’m not saying you have to try this, obviously, I’m just saying don’t let puritanical and homophobic bullshit be what’s stopping you.
And because I, as a prostate-less woman, can never give you a thorough description of what the experience is like, I’ve enlisted the help of a dear reader who was willing to share his experience.
It’s my pleasure to introduce you all to Michael. This is his story.
So without further ado, here’s one man’s experience with prostate play.
Late last year, I decided to start massaging my prostate. I had previously read many great things about the practice, but never felt it was something I’d like. My previous rectal exams were about as fun as a root canal, so I never considered prostate massage as something that would work for me.
That was until I read prostate stimulation felt better when one was aroused, and I definitely wasn’t aroused during a rectal exam. I became intrigued, and a few weeks later I bought an Aneros Helix Syn prostate massager.
Slipping a prostate massager in my anus was a little uncomfortable, but not overly so.
With lube, it felt cold, and foreign.
After a few minutes of having it inserted, the foreign-object feeling went away and I was able to relax and enjoy the prostate massage. Over the last couple of months, I’ve done this dozens of times, and the results have been amazing.
I’ve experienced pleasure that I’ve never felt before and it has me more excited about my sexuality than anything I’ve tried in the last 20 years. I’ve learned things about my body that I didn’t know I had to learn. Most importantly, my sex life has improved dramatically;
I’m lasting longer in bed and my orgasms are way better.
One of the very first things I realized after starting to massage my prostate was that there was another place in my body that could provide pleasure. Up to this point, the only place I thought pleasure came from was my penis. But when the prostate starts to feel good, it feels just like pleasure in my penis, only, it’s deeper inside my body, and, dare I say, more intense.
It was only at this moment I realized that during orgasm, when my entire nether regions are on fire, I’m having both penile pleasure and prostate pleasure at the same time, only I didn’t realize it. And during my best orgasms, my prostate was contributing more than normal. I thought all the pleasure came from the head of my penis and filtered throughout my body, but I was wrong;
My penis wasn’t acting alone.
Once I started massaging my prostate, it was like a fire was lit throughout my body. Suddenly, I was feeling sensations that I hadn’t felt before, and at all times of the day. Sitting, driving, even sleeping. Even when I wasn’t massaging my prostate, it was tingling and giving off subtle waves of pleasure; my brain was literally re-wiring itself to feel new sensations and the learning process was extremely enjoyable.
Since I’ve started massaging the prostate, I’ve experienced many different kinds of pleasure.
Pleasure On “The Edge”
When I work my prostate, I often times reach a level of pleasure that would previously send me straight to orgasm. During typical sexual arousal, I’d reach that plateau and the orgasm would come moments later. But with my prostate, things don’t go so fast.
The prostate is slow and subtle and pleasure builds at its own pace. When the pleasure gets intense, it just stays there, and holds. I’ve spent hours at this plateau in individual sessions, which is probably more time than I’ve spent on it my entire life.
When it first started happening, I was frustrated because I wanted to reach orgasm, but couldn’t get there. But once I realized that I could just sit back and enjoy “the edge”, it has become a feeling that I look forward to immensely. Just basking in orgasmic-level intensity for hours on end is amazing, even if I never reach orgasm.
In fact, it’s addictive. And it’s far better than edging during masturbation because I don’t have to expend any energy to try to keep from coming. I just relax and enjoy the show.
After being on the edge for enough time, I often launch into a series of dry orgasms. Dry orgasms are something that I have not experienced since I was a child, pre-puberty. During those days, I could masturbate over and over without any refractory period at all. Ejaculation ruined all of that (who’s idea was THAT?)!
But when I let my prostate pleasure build, and leave my penis completely alone, the pleasure will spill into my penis and then I will start having dry orgasms. These orgasms are extremely intense, although they don’t quite have the same feeling of completion and euphoria associated with ejaculatory orgasms; when the orgasm fades out I immediately want another.
But no matter, as they are so intense and I can usually keep them going on for as long as I can concentrate. They come one after another, thirty seconds apart. And they can last one to two minutes each! I could never have imagined an orgasm lasting longer than ten to fifteen seconds, and yet, dry orgasms blow ejaculatory orgasms out of the water on the stop watch.
Last month, I had a series of dry orgasms that went on for over an hour. For fun, I tried to count them and I think I got close to forty.
Speechless, is all I can say.
The typical recommendation to achieve dry orgasms is to use your PC muscles to hold the semen in. I tried this and it caused pain. It wasn’t for me. Achieving dry orgasms via prostate massage seems safer, in my case, and certainly is more comfortable.
Dry orgasms felt “weird” when I first started having them; it is extremely strange to have an orgasm and not feel semen shooting through my penis. The feeling of the semen going through my shaft is incredibly pleasurable, and it was missing. It is only at this time that I realized how my prostate contributes to my orgasm, and how the feeling of pleasure as the semen went through my shaft was coming from the prostate itself.
But again, the dry orgasm is nevertheless extremely intense; the tip of my penis is usually burning in pleasure. The only way I can describe it would be to use a vibrator to bring yourself to orgasm, and then hold the vibrator right on the tip of your penis after the orgasm; if the vibrator brings on way too much intensity that you have to pull it off, that’s kind of how the dry orgasms feel. They get close to too much intensity, and happen over and over.
Strangely enough, when I have dry orgasms, my penis is not usually erect at all. But it feels so hard that it feels like it is going to explode, and yet, it is typically soft as butter during the dry orgasms. During dry orgasms, pre-cum drips from the tip of my penis for as long as the orgasms continue.
I haven’t had these too many times, but when I have them, they are exquisite. The prostate orgasms start deeper in the body behind my testicles, build slower, last longer, and radiate outward throughout my entire body.
I often times get light headed and feel like I am floating when the prostate orgasms start. Sometimes it feels like the air is being sucked out of my chest. When the prostate orgasm grows, I lose all sense of time and place, and, just, experience it.
They’re extremely intense and last thirty seconds or more. They are more euphoric and satisfying than the dry orgasms. Fortunately, like the dry orgasms, these come in waves. I once had them continue on for thirty minutes.
Like dry orgasms, pre-cum drips from my penis as the orgasms happen, yet despite being from the prostate, no semen is ejaculated.
I’ve had a few of these, and they are extremely pleasurable. The pleasure builds slowly and intensely right in front of my anus, on the perineum, about an inch or so from the opening.
Again, one of the things I love best about these orgasms is that it is yet another place that my body can give me pleasure that I was unaware of. Who knew?
I don’t know if these orgasms come just from prostate massage or from the Aneros massager I use that massages my sphincter at the same time as my prostate, but they are different and fullfilling. One thing is for sure, I now know that anal orgasms can happen, and a vibrator for my anus is on the short list of upcoming purchases.
I experienced a full-body orgasm once, briefly, and this one will be the hardest for me to describe. When it starts, it feels a lot like a prostate orgasm in that I feel euphoric over my whole body, with a light headed, airy, floating sensation.
And then the orgasm starts, not in my penis, not in my prostate, not in my anus, but in my CHEST. Seriously, in my CHEST. I would not have believed it if I did not experience it. I got the same orgasmic sensation in my penis, and it stayed in my chest for about thirty seconds before I literally sat up in shock.
Were I not so surprised, it might have continued. I haven’t been able to recreate this, but I know my prostate caused it and it’s only a matter of time before I figure out how to do this again. If I can have an orgasmic feeling in my chest, then I know I can have them anywhere. It certainly is something to look forward to, and it’s a skill that I’m eager to acquire.
The Super-O is the fabled orgasm that everybody on the Aneros forums is searching for. The description of this orgasm is full body, intense, and far beyond what a typical orgasm offers. It’s described differently by everyone, but the closest I’ve heard it described is a cross between a Full Body Orgasm and a Prostate Orgasm, or, “you’ll know it when you get it.”
It’s the pinnacle of the Aneros experience and a sign of what a prostate can do. I haven’t had this yet, but I am eager to find it. Experienced users describe being able to get these kinds of orgasms regularly. Other users find it hard to accomplish. One thing is for sure, the prostate has unlimited boundaries of pleasure.
My traditional orgasms have changed since massaging my prostate. I’m getting erections quicker than I have in years and they’re stronger, too. I’m also getting more pleasure throughout the arousal process. Before massaging my prostate, I would go from little arousal to peak arousal during sex, with little in between.
Since massaging my prostate, however, I’m getting fairly intense pleasure from the very beginning, with it building throughout arousal all the way until orgasm. The best part is that I’m also lasting longer; the pleasure builds, but I’m able to build it higher than before, which takes longer.
On top of that, my orgasms are more intense and fuller than before. I attribute this to my prostate contributing more. I believe this comes from the fact that I’m able to channel some of my arousal directly to my prostate, which I’ve only been able to do since learning where to channel the sensations.
Overall, this has made sex far more enjoyable to me!
I think it is important to point out that my results haven’t been consistent. I’ve found the prostate to be a tricky date; one day something works, and the next day it doesn’t. It takes time for the body to start activating new pathways of pleasure, and the process isn’t always consistent.
But each attempt at prostate massage has been enjoyable, and I’ve been able to get more in touch with my body than ever before. Learning to appreciate subtle sensations is a new experience for me, and I think every man should try it, at least once.
I’d also like to point out that my best success has come with my Aneros prostate massager. I chose the Aneros because of the enthusiastic response it gets online, and because it’s “self guiding” (e.g. hands off).
I just put it in and relax.
I’ve yet to have much success with my wife massaging me, however. Part of that is due to the fact that it takes me a long time to build prostate arousal (sometimes an hour or more). But that doesn’t mean I won’t get there at some point. In fact, I’m sure I will. It’s just a matter of her learning how to do it and me being in the right mindset to receive it.
For now, my journey has been more personal, and she and I are both okay with it. It has taken time for me to understand how my body works, and appreciate the new ways my body responds. But I look forward to the point when she can do this for me every time we have sex.
Lastly, I’d like to talk about Female Orgasms.
My wife can have multiple orgasms. She can have orgasms that last 30 seconds or more. And she can keep on going right afterwards. As a man, I love helping her achieve this level of pleasure and it’s amazing to watch, but, like most men, I’ve always been somewhat envious. But that ends, today.
Since massaging my prostate, I’ve had dry orgasms and prostate orgasms come one after another while staying at peak pleasure the entire time. I’ve had a full body orgasm, p-spot orgasms, anal orgasms. I’ve had light-headedness, floating sensations, and I think I could have come close to passing out once. I’m finally understanding my wife’s sexual response, and it’s fantastic. I feel closer to her. I feel closer to myself.