Updated on 8/13/2021 with the latest in nipple torture.

A decade ago, nipple torture is something I never would have considered engaging in. I didn’t understand its appeal and it didn’t sound sexy. Not. At. All. But, after opening up to the idea, I’ve realized opinions can change and, sometimes, things we never thought we’d like can turn us on more than we thought possible.

Nipple torture is one of those things.

The Basics of Nipple Torture

Nipple torture refers to the practice of inflicting pain to the nipples for sexual gratification. While the breasts and nipples are sometimes very sensitive, and many cringe at the idea of rough play, women’s nipples are designed for breastfeeding, which, believe me, can hurt like a mother fucker.

When nursing, a woman’s nipples can chafe, peal, and callous. The average nipple torture won’t come close to that, I promise.

But as always, couples should take things slow anytime they engage in any new kinky activity and always communicate about what you’re experiencing and feeling in the moment and afterward.

Also, it should be noted a woman’s breasts change throughout her monthly cycle. Just because she likes to have her nipples pulled as hard as they can be on Saturday night, doesn’t mean she’s going to like that kind of play on Thursday afternoon.

It’s confusing, I know. But it is what it is.

nipple piercing

Nipple piercing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Methods of Nipple Torture

There are, obviously, multiple ways to engage in nipple torture. Although I don’t cover them all here, I do cover the basics and make note of some of my favorites. But don’t let this list limit your imagination.

Instead, let it inspire you to find what turns you on the most.

Fingers and Teeth

Obviously, the most basic style of nipple play and nipple torture is done with the fingers and teeth. If you’re looking for some general nipple play, instead of kinky torture, check out my long-form post all about nipple play, but if you’re looking for something a little heavier, continue reading.

With biting and pinching, remember to build your partner up. Start slow with some gentle caresses, maybe a scrape of the teeth, and gradually push their limits. Mix it up. Play around. Pinch and squeeze. Pinch and pull. Bite and scrape. Pull with your teeth. All sorts of fun things to do, so use your imaginations and don’t let anything but your partner’s discontent hold you back.

Hitting and Flogging

When playing with flagellation on the breasts, keep in mind you should be significantly more gentle than you would, on say, a buttocks. Consider, even, being more gentle than either of you would like.

I once had blood clots form in my breast, and, never connecting them to rough breast play, mentioned it to my OB/GYN. He ordered an ultrasound and the tech was stumped. Asked if I had recently experienced any “breast trauma.”

Oh. Snap.

Flashbacks raced through my head of me on top of him, head thrown back, breasts pushed forward. His hand smacking first one side of my breasts. Then the other. Me, cumming with each impact, never once considering the long-term consequences.

Like trying to make up excuses for rough sex while in an open-in-the-front hospital gown .

So. Yeah. Be careful when you start playing these games. Start with light spanking, like with a hand or soft leather flogger. More severe punishment tools, such as canes and whips, shouldn’t really  be used on the breasts, unless you and your partner are both highly experienced, know how to control the tool, and know how your body responds to impact play.

Regardless, proceed with caution. The breasts have a lot going on that can be damaged by blunt force.

Also, breast tissue tends to be extra sensitive and will lacerate much quicker than the cheeks of her ass. So beat with care, my little darlings, get those breasts a nice, glowing pink, but if she starts goes candy apple red or starts to show welts, I’d recommend slowing down a bit.

molly in nipple clampsNipple Clamps

First, some general information on clamps. Some folks love nipple clamps. They love the bit of extra weight. They love the bite of cold metal against skin. Of the chain bouncing against the breasts.

Damn. I’m getting myself distracted here.

Okay.  *Clears throat*

We were talking about nipple clamps.

There are all sorts of clamps out there and they all serve different purposes. Some work better on little nipples, some on big nipples. Some are good for beginners, but the seasoned expert with scoff at them. Look around, see what works best for you. I recommend starting with an adjustable set, that way you’re not stuck with something that’s too weak or too strong.

And don’t think they need to be something fancy from a specialty kink shop. Clothes pins can become fantastic nipple clamps, as can mini C-clamps from your local hardware store. Get creative and look around, you may be surprised with what you come up with!

feather nipple clamps

One of my favorite pair!

The first time you use clamps, be prepared.

It’s most likely going to hurt like hell. Way worse than you anticipate.

It hurts when the clamps go on. And it hurts when they come off.

To make the experience as pleasurable as possible (don’t let me fool you, there will be pleasure), place the clamps as close to the base of the nipple as possible. That way, the whole of the nipple is being pinched, reducing the risk of an accidental slip off or cutting off too much blood to the very tip of the nipple.

Once the clamps are in place, the pain does dull. Until, that is, you take them off.  Then there’s this rush of blood that hurts so bad, if feels damn near orgasmic.

Or maybe it’s that it feels so damn good, it nearly hurts.

I’m not sure. But either way, don’t leave them on too long, especially for the novice.

As the blood rushes back into the surface of the nipple, a jolt of hot pain accompanies it. The closest comparison I can think of is when you’re a child, playing in the snow with your gloves off. Your hands get cold and you don’t even notice. But once you come in, and they begin to warm up, you get an almost burning sensation.

When you take off nipple clamps, it’s kind of like that.

For the best experience, take off clamps at the peak of orgasm. Or perhaps the moments before if you can manage it. The sensation can make you crest that wave and intensify the orgasm. The pain, while strong, is relatively short lived, and can be dulled by putting a bit of pressure on the nipple to soothe it.

If you don’t want to invest in nipple clamps right off the bat, don’t be afraid to try cloths pins. I’ve never even considered cloths pins, I didn’t think they were that cute, but this summer, when we were on vacation, the Hubby found some and pulled them out one evening.



I didn’t have any complaints.

clothes pins on nipples wax on breasts

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ice and Wax

Sensation play is a rough one for me to talk about, as it seems one is either really into it, or really not. As with anything else (I’m sure you are getting tired of hearing me say this), take it slow. Particularly with the wax, as the skin of the nipple is slightly different from the other skin on the body.

Start easy and progress slowly. Remember, just because the wax doesn’t burn on your forearm, does NOT mean it’s not going to burn on her nipple. First degree burns happen way easier than people realize, and man, would that fucking suck having burns on your nipples.

And having to go to the ER to get it addressed.

So play around with hot and cold and see what gets your partner’s rocks off. And another fun trick, although somewhat vanilla, is to not only use wax and ice, but hot tea and ice water in your mouth before taking his nipple between your lips.  Rotate back and forth between the liquids and watch for responses as first he feels a warm, steamy mouth, then an ice-cold chilly tongue flicking across his nipple.


If you’re going to play with electro-stim, I recommend getting a kit designed for sexual play. If not, the next safest option is a TENS unit or a Violet Wand. Just be extra careful using either of these options around the breasts.

Electro-stim is another one of those kinks you’re either into or your not. Those who aren’t, often don’t even want to try it. For many, it’s a hard limit.

But with a partner you trust and a system that has a low range of stimulation, it can be a quite pleasing experience. Not only on the nipples, but in various erogenous zones across the body.

Believe me. I wasn’t into it either. But I will say that it didn’t take long to convince me.

lesbian couple with clamps and strap on

“File:Lesbic use of nipple clamps and strap-on dildo.jpg” by Tracie

So there you have it; nipple torture fundamentals

Feel free to add your thoughts, or questions in the comments!


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1 Comment

Bad Jan · at

Just love doing it to myself, it’s all I can get now.

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