Most of us have had our fair share of bad kisses. Some are sloppy. Some are dry. And some just don’t seem to know what the hell is going on. But then, if you’re lucky, you’ve kissed someone who really knows what they’re doing when it comes to lip service. It can make you wonder, what makes a good kisser?

A Good Kisser Caresses

A good kisser understands that a kiss is a caress. When they kiss their lover, they use their own lips and tongue to caress their partner’s lips and tongue.

It’s not a fencing bout. It’s not a boxing match. You’re not trying to bruise your partner, but caress them. This caress is especially important at the beginning of a kiss, which should normally start off slow and soft.

In my opinion, the only time a kiss shouldn’t start as a caress is when it’s a passion-filled, pushed-up-against-the-wall, I-want-to-rip-your-clothes-off type of kiss.

They Move Their Lips and Tongue

When it comes to kissing, the flesh-on-flesh contact is what makes it so arousing. A good lover know this and they use it their advantage. They move their lips against their lover’s, they use their tongue to touch and explore.

But don’t explore too much. I once kissed a boy who thrust his tongue in and out of my mouth like a jackhammer, and it taught me something. Too much movement isn’t a good thing, especially if it’s with your tongue.

For me, a good kisser’s primary tool is their lips. Oh, the tongue’s there in the background, offering a soft reminder. And every once in awhile it can take center stage, but, for the most part, your tongue shouldn’t reach much past the other person’s teeth and shouldn’t be the star of the show.

A Good Kisser Finds the Right Pressure

Not everyone likes to be kissed the same way, but few of us like so much pressure from a kiss that our teeth cut into our lips. Again, if it’s a kiss that’s riddled with passion, sure, smash your mouth into your lover’s.

But on the regular, it’s better to err on the side of caution and be gentle while you figure out what the person you’re kissing likes. If they want a little more aggression, they’ll let you know by trying to deepen the kiss or increasing the pressure on their side.

They Allow the Dance to Develop

Kissing always involves two people (at least), and much like a dance, to be good at it, you need to find your partner’s rhythm. Not only do you need to find it, you need to match it and find a way to compliment it.

How do you do that?

First, unless you’re playing games of power exchange, don’t try to over power them. If they seem to be setting the pace and it’s working for you, then just follow along. If they’re doing something you really like, mimic their style.

If you’re leading the pace, use your tongue and lips to encourage them to engage, tease a little and make them want it.

A Good Kisser Know It’s Not Just the Kiss

When a good kisser kisses someone, they don’t just kiss. They get their hands involved by holding the back of their lover’s neck, or maybe laying a hand on their cheek. They may kiss their partner’s throat, or nibble against a collarbone.

They also use their bodies. Whether it’s a subtle lean toward their lover or pressing against them in all the right places, a good kisser uses their body to their advantage, allowing them to take their kisses to the next level.

good kisser

Photo by V T on Unsplash

They Check Their Oral Hygiene

A good kisser stays aware of their oral hygiene before locking lips with a lover. If they ate garlic cheese for lunch, they make sure they brush or use some mouthwash before kissing.

They also pay attention to their lips and work to keep them soft and kissable. Try exfoliating with a gentle lip scrub made by mixing a little honey with a little sugar and gently rubbing in your lips for about a minute.

Wipe off and get ready to pucker up!

A Good Kisser Changes Things Up

Nobody wants to get bored kissing and that’s why a good kisser changes things up every once in a while. Whether it’s moving their hands or gently pulling a lip between their teeth, they know variety is the spice of life, even when kissing.

And while they do keep their lover on their toes, a good kisser also doesn’t overthink it. So take a deep breath. Relax.

And remember you’re here to enjoy a little swapping of spit, not let your brain get in the way of pleasure.

Feature image credit: Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash 


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