Sometimes, it’s okay to be selfish in your relationship. Yep. I said it. Because it’s true. Check out this YouTube video to find out why. Or just scroll past it for the written version!
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Why you need to be selfish sometimes…
So… Life if busy. And often times, it’s the sexual side of relationship that gets left behind when it happens. Even if we don’t want it to be.
The most important reason it’s important to be selfish in your relationship is because we all fill a lot of roles in life. We may be mothers and fathers, sisters, children, employees, friends, neighbors… The list goes on and on.
Particularly, the role of mother for women and the role of provider for men can sometimes become… all encompassing. So all encompassing that we forget the need to fill our other roles. We forget we need to be a wife and a husband and a lover and what those roles actually mean.
You need to create space…
When we become consumed with a specific role, we need to create space in our lives to make room for the other roles. We need that space to decompress from one role and begin to assume the other.
So when you’re all mom all the time, and it’s time to be intimate with your partner, it can sometimes be hard to jump from homework, bath, and bedtime stories to sexy, wanton lover. So a mom needs space to decompress from all that entails being a mom and remember what it means to be a lover.
You must be selfish to give yourself this space in your life. And to do that, you must sometimes say no… No to your work. No to your kids. No to that pile of laundry that is just begging to be folded so that you can have the space and time you need to reassume the role of partner and lover that you may be neglecting.
You need couple time…
Another reason you need to be selfish is because you need couple time. Couple time away from the children and, ideally, the house. Couple time should be a non-negotiable.
When you don’t devote time to your couple, you lose intimacy and build the companionship that you need to have a long-term healthy relationship.
You relationship needs nurtured. And when you don’t nurture it, you know what happens? The grass starts to look greener on the other side of the fence. If you don’t want that to happen, then make sure you’re watering your own grass and ensuring it thrives.
Your relationship needs to be a priority…
This all rolls into the main point. You need to be selfish at times so that you can make your relationship a priority. Because it needs to be.
If you feel like you don’t have the time or space for your relationship, then you need to start cutting some things from your life. Really look at the things that are tying you up and determine if they’ll important five months from now. What about five years? What about in 15 years?
You know what will be important? How much time and effort you’ve put into your relationship and your partner. That will matter in 15 years.
Here’s the thing. If you’re not making your relationship a priority, if you’re not putting effort into it, you’re not doing it right.
And I don’t say things like that lightly.