Believe it or not, you are a sexual being.
So, here’s the thing. I get that you’re uncomfortable talking about sex. And I get that sometimes it’s easier to be in a sex slump or even settle for mediocre sex than it is to speak up and make changes.
Believe me, I get it.
I’ve been there.
But I’ve also grown from that spot.
And you can, too.
You. Are. A. Sexual. Being.
You may not always feel like a sexual being, but that doesn’t negate the fact that you are one. Your body and your brain have developed in such a way that it’s natural for you to want sex, it’s natural for you to desire sex, and it’s natural for you to have sex.
Although I’m not going to say it, I almost want to say that it’s unnatural to not do these things: want sex, desire sex, and have sex. But I wont’. Because I’m trying to be inclusive and shit.
So, you are a sexual being.
What the hell does that even mean?
It means that sex is good for you, that sex does things for your body and brain that make if function more effectively and efficiently. It means that sex does stuff for your mental health and your relationship that make it easier to deal with both.
It means sex is good for you and that when you have it, whether with a partner or on your own, it brings massive amounts of benefits. Enough benefits that improving your sex life and boosting low libido and learning to initiate sex are well worth it, even if they didn’t bring more pleasure to your world (which they totally do).
It means sexless marriages are not only bad for your relationship, but bad for your mental and physical health as well!
Hell yes, I’m serious!
Humans are sexual beings and without sex, they’re unable to function at their best, in the same way that humans are social beings, but without socialization, they’re missing something.
It’s the same thing.
You are a sexual being. And when you embrace that part of yourself. When you foster and nurture the sexual parts of yourself, you, your brain, and your body reap the benefits.
Your brain likes sex. When you engage in sexual activity or masturbation, it releases chemicals like dopamine that make you happy and that excite other parts of the brain.
Your brain responds so much to sexual activity and orgasm, that scientists have determined that sex basically acts as both an anti-depressant and exercise to your brain. And that without sex, without the surge in neurotransmitters and hormones it creates, it can have a detrimental impact on our health and wellness, from how we feel physically to things like depression and anxiety.
So when you’re not having sex, it quite literally is the lack of sex that’s keeping you down and out.
There is little doubt in most people’s minds that sex is a stress reducer. In many ways, it’s like exercise or working out. It makes you become mindful of the moment you’re in. You’re forced to pay attention what’s going on right now. And you’re exerting some physical effort, so it makes sense that, like exercise, sex helps with stress.
But it does so in many more ways than just that. When we have sex, we also release oxytocin. While it has plenty of roles, one action that few talk about when it comes to oxytocin is that it basically burns up cortisol, which is our body’s stress hormone. So it basically eats up our stress.
And if you don’t know, stress is not good for us. Those with high stress levels (and therefore high cortisol levels) are at a greater risk of hypertension, heart disease, heart attack, stroke, anxiety, depression, low immune system, and much, much more.
So lower your stress, lower your risk. Improve your health.
As the modern divorce rate shows us, staying in love for a lifetime is not an easy feat. In many cases it can feel damn near impossible.
But it’s not. Especially when you have good, regular sex.
Because that brain chemical we were just talking about… What was it called again?
Ah. Right. Oxytocin.
See, while oxytocin eats up cortisol, its primary role is that of bonding.
So when you engage in sexual activity with a partner, your brain puts out oxytocin, which makes you pair bond with that person. And when you have sex again a few days later, the brain puts out more oxytocin. And your bond becomes stronger. And stronger. And stronger.
And that, my friends, is a large part of how you stay in love for a lifetime.
Sex and sleep. They go together like pillows and blankets.
Plus, when we get a full night’s sleep, we’re more likely to engage in sex and intimacy as compared to when we’re tired and exhausted.
So if you have sex before bed, you’ll likely sleep better. And the better sleep you get, the more likely you are to have sex. And the result is more sex and more sleep and few of us can complain about that!
For instance, sexually active men have a reduced risk for prostate cancer. And in men over 60 who’ve been prescribed Viagra, we see a significant decrease in depression and suicide rates (crazy, right?).
You Are a Sexual Being.
Now it’s time to act like it!
If you’re not sure where to start, check out my free ebook or get on the waitlist for my newest course, Reclaim Your Libido. FYI, both of these will sign you up for my weekly newsletter, which is delivered on Fridays most of the time.