So many people scoff at the idea of scheduling sex.
They think it’s boring. Habitual. They believe sex should be spontaneous. Spur of the moment. That to be authentic, sex can only occur you and your lover become so overwhelmed with need, you rip each other’s clothes off in the middle of the living room.
Um. Yeah. That shit doesn’t happen.
Instead, when you don’t make sex a priority, when you don’t put it on the calendar because you want it ensure that it happens, then you start to have sex less. Because you’re tired. Because the kids got to bed late. Or the in-laws are staying. Or the 3,847 things that act as cock blocks in your world.
Suddenly, you haven’t had sex in a month, or only on birthdays and anniversaries. Now, you’re in a sexless marriage and you’re both left wondering what the fuck happened.
How’s that spontaneous sex treating you now?
I get it. I mean, the whole idea of spontaneous sex is great. It’s hot. Arousing. But the reality is when you leave things up to chance, life get in the way.
And, if we’re honest with one another, sometimes when the opportunity for sex does arise, eh, it’s not always the best timing. Like, your hubby starts flirting with you during dinner. One thing leads to another and suddenly you’re making out in the kitchen.
Your Hubby walks you backward, his hand reaching for the hem of your skirt. The moment for spontaneous sex has finally arrived!
But the kids are in the backyard.
And you haven’t showered yet today. Or shaved your legs all week.
So with a kiss, you brush his hand aside and say next time.
Next time happens three days later while hiking in the woods. The kids are at your mother’s. And you’ve showered. But now you’re menstruating.
This is the reality of spontaneous sex.
But when you’re scheduling sex…
Things work out a bit better. When you’re scheduling sex, things like that don’t happen. Because you can prepare. Because you can ensure the children, or as I like to call them are entertained or asleep or out of the house.
You prep and prepare. Showered and shaved. And dressed in whatever it is that makes you feel sexy.
You can turn the bedroom into a bit of a sanctuary, with fresh sheets, candlelight, and maybe your favorite getting-it-on music.
Knowing that you’ve got some sex scheduled, you flirt all damn day. Send each other cute texts. Think dirty thoughts. Get and keep yourself at a low simmer throughout the day.
And you know what happens when you plan sex? You get laid! You and your partner regularly engage in intimacy and grow closer. And because you’re having more sex and feeling close with your partner, guess what happens?