I often get emails from readers. Messages on Quora. Comments on the blog. Where people share how my words helped improve their sex life or relationship.
Maybe they squirted for the first time.
Or they worked up the courage to ask their husband for more sex.
Or broke the ice and started getting kinky and then had some amazing fucking sex.
And anytime this happens, I respond with a sincere thank you. Because helping couples have better sex is my goal. Honestly, I believe it’s my superpower. And because it’s a damn fun way to make a living and do a little bit of good in the world.
Especially from my often hedonistic approach to life.
And all of that is true. Absolutely true. But it’s not quite the whole, big-picture truth.
I lost a friend to COVID, yesterday.
I use the word friend loosely, because we weren’t friends. I’m friends with her mom. I’m friends with her sister. But this girl and I, we never really ran in the same click, but I can’t remember meeting her because I’ve just always known her.
And yesterday, she lost her battle.
And she was 43 years old.
And this isn’t a memorial to her or a COVID sucks rant. Although COVID does suck. And this is a bit ranty.
This is the truth of why I do what I do.
She was 43 years old.
She left behind both parents and a sister and kids.
And she left behind a husband who doesn’t ever get to kiss his wife again.
He doesn’t get to hold her hand. Not one more time.
Or even fucking hear her voice. Ever.
He doesn’t get that…
But I do.
And so do you.
And we should take fucking advantage of that.
We should realize that tomorrow is never given.
And that are partners are not promised to us forever. Our time with them is limited. It IS limited. At some point in the future, one of us will have a tomorrow which doesn’t include the love of our lives.
And once it’s taken away, once that tomorrow comes, will you still be resentful that he didn’t do the dishes enough?
Or that she gets a little bitchy when she’s tired?
Will you hide your ass because you put on 10 pound and don’t want him to see your butt dimples?
Will it fucking matter who took the garbage out?
Will you be glad you went to bed at night, frustrated with one another, angry about stupid shit, wanting a different type of relationship, but not knowing what to do to get there?!
So talk to your partner.
Love. Your. Partner.
Fall in love with them again.
Kiss them and hug them and fuck their god damn brains out.
So that god forbid, you don’t come home tomorrow, the memories they are left with will be filled with pleasure and laughter and growth as a couple, not regrets and what-ifs. Not I-wish-we-would’ves.
I’m here because sometimes the muck of the mundane gets stuck in our lives and starts to block the path we wanted to follow. Or, worse yet, it’s so damn hard to trudge through that it convinces us that the journey is not worth the effort.
That’s why I’m here.
That’s why I do what I do.
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