What is intimate communication? Why is it important? And what can you do to get more of it in your life?

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What is intimate communication?

Intimate communication is the type of communication that happens when you reveal information to someone about yourself that you wouldn’t normally reveal. Something you don’t share with other people. Things you keep hidden. It’s sharing your life stories, secrets, fears, and desires. The things you’re afraid to tell people.

When you share these things with your spouse, partner, lover, or friend, it is intimate communication.

It’s sharing wins and losses, frustrations, big and small. And talking about the things that matter, even when it’s difficult.

Intimate communication is not suffering in silence and keeping your frustrations and disappointments inside because you’re worried about what your partner may think. It’s being brave enough to share and talk in a way that allows you to find a solution together.

It’s being 100% authentic. 100% you. And being open about what you think, feel, and desire.

And why would you do this?

When you become vulnerable and overcome the barriers to intimate communication, you get intimacy as a result. You get understanding, validation, acceptance, and feeling like you are actually heard by your partner.

So how do you engage in intimate communication?

Here are three ways:

  • Use clear and concise language. Actually say the words you mean. Intimate communication is not beating around the bush or using hints to get your message across. Instead, it looks like this: “Hey babe. I really need your support this week. I have a lot on my plate at work, and I feel overwhelmed. Specifically, I need you to make sure I eat lunch because I keep forgetting.” Or it could look like this “You know I worry so much when you’re on the road. Could you please call or text me in the evening when you get back to the hotel?”
  • Engage in active listening. Communication is a two-way street. To be heard, you must hear what your partner says. So engage in active listening. Set down the distractions. Pay attention to what your partner is saying. Ask questions when you need clarification and repeat what they said in your own words to make sure you truly understand.
  • Be open and non-judgmental. Being vulnerable and engaging in intimate communication is not easy, especially if you think you will be ridiculed or laughed at. So be open to the things your partner says.  Do not judge them. Just listen. And then validate. Say things like, “I hear you.” Remember, communication within a relationship isn’t a battle that one partner wins and the other loses. You either win this battle together, or you lose it together. There is no other choice.

What more ways to improve your communication?

Join my free 7-Day Intimate Communication Challenge and learn how to strengthen your relationship and feel closer to your partner!


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