Sex is fun. And when you add the element of outdoors, it can feel damn near thrilling. But before you go tramping off into the woods with your partner, take a quick look at these five lessons in sex outside.
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1. The Elements Rock. Except when They Don’t.
Outdoor sex is so fun because you’re exposed to the elements. Hot sun on bare skin. Soft grass beneath your back. Those pesky mosquitoes buzzing in your ear. Sure, the elements are fun, but they can also be a pain in the ass. So when you want to get it on outdoors, you best be prepared for anything nature brings, from the sexy side of things to the not so sexy. Sunburn, bug bites, and sand in uncomfortable places can all take sex from fun-in-the-sun to not-so-fun-at-all quicker than you think.
I once ended up with over 74 countable mosquito bites from a 25-minute attempt at having sex in a meadow. Believe me when I say, it wasn’t worth it.
2. The Opportunities Are Endless.
Absolutely, the beach is a great place to have sex. Thinks every couple at every beach around the world. When you’re looking for privacy, don’t limit yourself to the cliché places for outdoor sex. Yes, the woods provide an exciting place to romp. So does the backyard, a park, the rooftop, and a fire escape. Think outside the box and suddenly you’ll start seeing sex spots pop up all over the place.
It was the last night of a randomly extended vacation and we were in Ocean City, sharing a room with the kids. At 1 am, the beach had enough people out for midnight strolls to take it off the list. We eventually climbed up to a balcony, which offered no privacy with open windows behind us, when we spotted a dark spot in the putt putt course across the street.
Don’t limit your possibilities. The opportunities are truly endless.
3. If You Do the Crime.
I’m not encouraging anyone to the break the law. But you should know that part of the excitement of having sex outdoors is the risk of getting caught. Because, well, sex outside is pretty much illegal everywhere. Although some police officers may let you go with a warning, it is possible to get charged with indecent exposure, public lewdness, or gross indecency.
The cops have busted me having sex. They let us go with nothing more than a get-your-clothes-back-on-and-get-on-outta-here.
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4. Be Quick.
I’m not someone who says you should rush sex. I mean, I preach about getting her off before you fuck her. All. The . Time. But if you want to have sex outside, the quicker the better. While you may have a bit of exhibitionist in you, it really is not much fun to get caught with your pants down. Regardless if it’s your neighbor, your roommate, or the cops, it’s always a little embarrassing.
Ladies, please remember that you are responsible for your own orgasms, too. So if you know you’re going to have sex outside, do what you need to do to be ready for it. Need some hints? Check out my Guide To Quickies!
5. Make It Easy.
You want sex outdoors to be quick and unnoticeable. So work to make it that way! If you go somewhere secluded, bring a blanket. It saves you from sticks and thorns and even the occasional colony of ground ants. Make sex outside easy by wearing a short skirt and stretchy panties. It’s much easier to pull a skirt up then it is to slip out of a pair of jeans.
Bonus: If you need to rush out of the situation or make it look way more innocent than it is, dropping a skirt or dress down sure allows you to get dressed in hurry.
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Sex outdoors can be fun and exhilarating. And it can add just the right amount of spice to keep things interesting.
But don’t forget, that it’s important to stay safe. You don’t want to end up with your name in the paper for indecent exposure! Just keep these lessons in mind next time you decide to get it on outdoors.
What to expand your sex life? Download my Yes, No, Maybe checklist and share it with your lover today!
An eariler version of this blog post appeared on Article Cats on May 1, 2015.
1 Comment
Kimmi · at
Some of the hottest sex of my life was outdoors while backcountry trekking and included a second couple.
Soon after they were married we invited my brother and new sister in law on a backcountry expedition just the four of us.
She was new to it and had lots of questions for me so we ended up having a discussion about her cycle and birth control. I told her she did not want to go a week without running water while she was having her period and told her she could just skip her placebo pill week. She explained that she wasn’t on the pill and was using a diaphragm. She also said she got bad PMS and wanted to schedule our trek for the middle of her cycle. We looked at her period tracking app to set the date. I was using the same app to try to conceive, so I knew she’d be ovulating on the trail.
Birth control that you have to wash with soap and air dry seemed like a terrible idea, so I suggested they use the pull out method. I got a big lecture in response that she “always” used protection and “no way” was she risking it.Something about being too young to have a baby at 22 and starting grad school. Whatever. She also said something about not trusting my brother. Hmmmmm.
Well, there was no way I was going to risk her getting a UTI or even worse toxic shock from an unwashed diaphragm on the trail.
So I lightened her pack by finding her diaphragm and ditching it in a trash can at the trail head.
There’s not a lot of privacy camping backcountry so the very first night we heard the whole story as she whispered to my brother about how she couldn’t find her protection.
My partner and I weren’t very modest about our efforts at baby making and gave them a show worthy of a porno while she was trying to convince him that they couldn’t have sex.
Knowing where she was in her cycle and listening to her resistance slip little by little as he gave her some serious foreplay and we screwed very loudly just a few feet away was super erotic. She went from “no, we can’t” to “wait, what are you doing” to “no way am I getting pregnant ” to “umph” to “mmmm” to “you’ll pull out right” to … . It was a huge turn on hearing her slowly but surely have her hormones kick in and lose control.
The next morning we woke him up with our out in the open sex show while she went off to per. When she came back she never made it to their tent. She was in only a t shirt, and he just pulled it off and put her hands against a tree while he took her from behind holding firmly by the hips as she tried to squirm away. They were looking straight at us as I rode my partner both totally naked. It was a huge turn on watching her face as she realized that he was trying to get her pregnant and her body was eagerly cooperating.
I suggested a zero day that turned into 48 hours of nonstop sex.
We both ended up pregnant from that trip!