Sex is fun. And when you add the element of outdoors, it can feel damn near thrilling. But before you go tramping off into the woods with your partner, take a quick look at these five lessons in sex outside.
1. The Elements Rock. Except when They Don’t.
Outdoor sex is so fun because you’re exposed to the elements. Hot sun on bare skin. Soft grass beneath your back. Those pesky mosquitoes buzzing in your ear. Sure, the elements are fun, but they can also be a pain in the ass. So when you want to get it on outdoors, you best be prepared for anything nature brings, from the sexy side of things to the not so sexy. Sunburn, bug bites, and sand in uncomfortable places can all take sex from fun-in-the-sun to not-so-fun-at-all quicker than you think.
I once ended up with over 74 countable mosquito bites from a 25-minute attempt at having sex in a meadow. Believe me when I say, it wasn’t worth it.
2. The Opportunities Are Endless.
Absolutely, the beach is a great place to have sex. Thinks every couple at every beach around the world. When you’re looking for privacy, don’t limit yourself to the cliché places for outdoor sex. Yes, the woods provide an exciting place to romp. So does the backyard, a park, the rooftop, and a fire escape. Think outside the box and suddenly you’ll start seeing sex spots pop up all over the place.
It was the last night of a randomly extended vacation and we were in Ocean City, sharing a room with the kids. At 1 am, the beach had enough people out for midnight strolls to take it off the list. We eventually climbed up to a balcony, which offered no privacy with open windows behind us, when we spotted a dark spot in the putt putt course across the street.
Don’t limit your possibilities. The opportunities are truly endless.
3. If You Do the Crime.
I’m not encouraging anyone to the break the law. But you should know that part of the excitement of having sex outdoors is the risk of getting caught. Because, well, sex outside is pretty much illegal everywhere. Although some police officers may let you go with a warning, it is possible to get charged with indecent exposure, public lewdness, or gross indecency.
The cops have busted me having sex. They let us go with nothing more than a get-your-clothes-back-on-and-get-on-outta-here.
5. Make It Easy.
You want sex outdoors to be quick and unnoticeable. So work to make it that way! If you go somewhere secluded, bring a blanket. It saves you from sticks and thorns and even the occasional colony of ground ants. Make sex outside easy by wearing a short skirt and stretchy panties. It’s much easier to pull a skirt up then it is to slip out of a pair of jeans.
Bonus: If you need to rush out of the situation or make it look way more innocent than it is, dropping a skirt or dress down sure allows you to get dressed in hurry.
Sex outdoors can be fun and exhilarating. And it can add just the right amount of spice to keep things interesting.
But don’t forget, that it’s important to stay safe. You don’t want to end up with your name in the paper for indecent exposure! Just keep these lessons in mind next time you decide to get it on outdoors.
What about you, do you have any tips for outdoor sex? If so, put them in the comments!
An eariler version of this blog post appeared on Article Cats on May 1, 2015.