Coming back at ya with another post (and video) on the orgasm gap! This time, it’s the orgasm gap for women and what role we need to play to shrink the gap and start having more pleasure and orgasms. If you missed it, you can catch the first part of this series here: Orgasm Gap for Men: Get Her Off Before You @#$% Her.
Check out the video below. And be sure to subscribe! Once we get to 100 subscribers, I’ll do a giveaway!!
If you don’t want to watch the YouTube video, don’t worry. I got you!
The basics of the orgasm gap for women
When it comes to heterosexual relationships, there is a cultural phenomenon that results in men having significantly more orgasms than their female partners. Some studies show as much as 52% more. Some show as little as 20%. But they all show a large statistical difference and they all show men cumming more than women.
Now, some people would like to say this exists because women don’t, or maybe can’t, orgasm as much as men. But we know this isn’t true because when we look at lesbian relationships, both women are orgasming at a rate of 85% or more, the same rate as men in heterosexual relationships.
And there are a ton of reasons the orgasm exists, from the patriarchy to biology and everything in between.
For our goals, it doesn’t really matter why the orgasm gap exists. What matters is how we’re currently perpetuating it and what we can do, today, to shrink it.
We need to be responsible for our own orgasms.
Ladies, it’s time we stop relying on our men to get us off. Because many of them are failing to do so. That means it’s time for us to take things in our own hands and make sure that we get off, if we want to, each and every time we have sex. That’s not too much to ask.
Here’s how to make that happen.
- Masturbate more. The more you masturbate, the more you orgasm and the more you orgasm, the easier those orgasms come.
- Learn different ways to get off. As many ways as you can. With your hand. Maybe with toys. With water. However. Just learn different ways to bring your body pleasure.
- Speak up and, if necessary, show him how to get you off. If he’s not doing it right, then teach him. He’s not just going to magically know what feels good for you, so take your own hands and show him exactly how you like it (if you don’t know how you like it, first, you’re not alone, and second, you can learn. Check this post out: Your Guide to Female Masturbation)
- Quit. Faking. Orgasms. It’s conditioning your man to do the wrong thing! He thinks what he’s doing is getting you off and it’s not, but he doesn’t know that, so he thinks he’s doing the right thing and is going to keep doing that thing, even though it’s not working for you. So stop faking it. Please!
- Don’t let sex end with his orgasm. If you fail to orgasm before he gets off, who cares? Keep going. There’s no rule that says sex has to end with a man’s orgasm. If he won’t lend you a hand, first off, that’s a bit douchey, but don’t let it phase you. Again, just take matters into your own hands.
Ladies, we are partially responsible for the existence of the orgasm gap. We allow it to occur. But we don’t have to. Stop relying on your man and take responsibility for your own orgasm. Once you set your mind to it, recognize that you deserve as much pleasure during sex as your male partner does, and then make sure they happen, even if you have to do it yourself!!