Check out this week’s YouTube video, where I discuss eight different libido killers that could be behind your low sex drive.
Low libido is impacting a whole range of women, not just those who’ve reached menopause. As a matter of fact, it’s one of the number one complaints I get from the ladies, their own lack of libido! It’s estimated that low libido impacts 52% of post-menopausal women and 26% of pre-menopausal women.
So that’s one in two for those over 55 and one in four for those under.
Those aren’t good odds!
Watch this week’s video to get the low down on what could be causing your low libido!
If video’s aren’t your thing, just jump below the image to read the text version!
Here they are! Eight libido killers that could be stopping you from wanting to get it on!
1. Hormonal Changes
Whether it’s menopause, peri-menopause, pregnancy, or breast feeding, when your hormones are changing, particularly where estrogen is concerned, there’s a good chance it’s going to impact your libido.
2. Stress & Anxiety
In a world where every thing needs to be done faster and better, stress levels and anxiety have reached levels higher than ever. And when we’re feeling overwhelmed with life, it doesn’t feel sexy. We don’t feel sexy. And we don’t want to put forth the effort to get it on.
But we should. Sex and masturbation are both great ways to reduce cortisol, the body’s stress hormone. So do it, even when you don’t feel like it. And it may make you feel better than you think!
3. Lack of Sleep
When you’re tired and exhausted, you don’t want to do anything. And you’re definitely not motivated to shave your legs and don some lingerie. But you should reconsider. Having an orgasm before bed, whether it’s given by a partner or your left hand, can help you fall asleep faster and improve sleep quality.
So much like stress and anxiety, even if you don’t have much of a libido, consider rubbing one down anyway! Treat it like it’s medicine.
Whether it’s a to-do list that’s too long or you have the habit of spectatoring (the act of worrying about what you look like when you have sex), when you’re distracted and your brain’s can’t focus on sex when you have it, it can be a libido killer. Instead of being a victim of an overwhelmed mind, practice some mindful sex and get present in the moment.
5. Shame & Guilt
Shame and guilt surrounding sex hold a lot of folks back from becoming their best sexual self. If it’s impacting your libido and causing distress in your life, you need to let that shit go. Talk to a therapist if necessary. Please.
6. Relationship Issues
If you have issues in your relationship, including resentment, problems with trust, or even a lack of attraction to your partner, it can totally be a libido killer. No one is thinking sexy thoughts when they’re fighting with their partner inside their own head all day.
7. Medical Conditions
Certain medical conditions can totally impact your libido. Depression is a huge one. All types of depression. Other medical conditions include PTSD, hypothyroidism, hypertension, heart disease, anemia, and arthritis, among others.
I think this is a big one, as we are so medicated as a society. Here are just some of the medications that can impact your libido:
- Antidepressants, particularly SSRIs like Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, and Celexa. If you’re on one of these and you’ve noticed that your libido has dropped, talk to the prescribing physician to discuss other options.
- Hormonal birth control: Specifically those that impact estrogen and progesterone. Like the pill. And Depo. Depo actually has such an libido killer that they give it to some sex offenders in prison to drop their sex drive. They call it chemical castration. I bet your OB/GYN didn’t mention that when they prescribed the shot, did they?
- Opioids, both prescribed and illicit.
- Beta blockers
- Eulexin for prostate cancer
- Accutane for acne
So there you have it, friend. Eight things that could very likely be causing your low libido.
I want you to know that low libido, regardless of the cause, can often be improved. Stay tuned, as I’ll be launching a course all about increasing your libido in the very near future!
Until then, make sure you’re signed up for my newsletter, that way you never miss a thing!
Sneha Rao · at
I have had a difficult situation in my family for a long time now.
I keep worrying and thoughts come to me mid sex, i feel guilty for enjoying my life, my husband is an excellent partner in bed. Between thoughts i loose the connection to orgasm. I have lost my libido.
how can i stay focused in bed ?
Molly · at
Thank you for sharing. When your mind wonders during sexual moments, you need to become more mindful. Get into your body. Recognize that your mind is wondering and bring yourself back to the sensations you’re feeling in your body, the touch of his hand on your skin, the softness of the sheets around you, etc, etc. I’m working on a piece on this, so keep your eyes out for it! And if you’d like to chat about it a little more, feel free to email me at email@example.com