Ugh. The NoFap Movement.
The NoFap movement has come up in multiple conversations over the last few weeks and I decided I may as well make a video to share my thoughts on it and the harm it does to not only relationships, but men as well.
If you don’t like the whole YouTube thing, read on to get the scoop!
Why I Say Fuck the NoFap Movement!
The NoFap movement is a social group that markets itself as a porn and masturbation recovery community. The general premise is that porn, masturbation, and orgasm (what those in the community refer to as PMO) reduce testosterone and rob men of their masculinity.
When men enter this community, they’re challenged to abstain from PMO for first 21 days, then 30. And they’re basically promised manly superpowers in exchange for giving up their pleasure.
What Does NoFap Mean?
The term “NoFap” comes from a comic strip that used “fap” as the sound of male masturbation. Then this dude from Pittsburgh read about a study on Reddit that said when men go seven days without masturbation, they see a 145.7% increase in their testosterone levels. And he, along with another guy who was already known to peddle pseudoscience, started this movement.
They were just two guys. These men weren’t scientists. They weren’t doctors. They weren’t experts in hormones or sex or relationships. The only research they did involved their own left hand.
Basically just two dudes who read a study.
And you know what?
Sometimes porn and masturbation ARE compulsive. And if the NoFap movement helps those folks, then rock the fuck on. I’m all about addiction support groups.
But that doesn’t appear to be what NoFap does.
According to neuroscientists, psychologists, and sex experts, the NoFap movement does NOT help, but actually hinders relationships. It keeps the men it claims to help’s relationships in distress, adheres to stereotypical gender roles, and engages in way too much anti-masturbation rhetoric.
Like grandma telling you that your palms would grow hair or you’d go blind if you kept masturbation.
Guess what, bitches?! I can still see.
Can we please stop sex shaming each other? Can we please allow people to learn their own bodies and not shame them for learning what feels good and engaging in some pleasurable self-soothing behavior?
There is NO research out there that says normal masturbation is problematic to a relationship or to one’s health! Actually, the opposite is true!
But the NoFap rhetoric actually goes further than just masturbation. Some of them blatantly have animosity toward orgasms.
Who the fuck has animosity toward orgasms?
Is this even for real?!? What the fuck?
Sadly, it’s true. The NoFap community says that orgasms can ruin relationships. Um.. No. It’s the LACK of orgasms that ruin relationships!!
Ask anyone who’s in a sexless marriage! Or who’s lacking intimacy! Because it’s not just about the sex (realize it’s never just about the sex!?!?), it’s about what the sex does to our brain and how that helps us stay in love and not want to stab a fork through our partner’s eye.
If you’re struggling with low T, if you’re struggling with quality erections, if you’re struggling in a part of your relationship, please think twice before turning to NoFap. Please.
If you need help, reach out to me (email@example.com) or another sex coach, reach out to a sex therapist, or reach out to your doctor. But don’t turn to the NoFap folks.
Chances are, they’ll just make you feel worse.