How often should you have sex?
As often as you want!
But in all seriousness, I’d say at least twice a week, at minimum. As I mentioned in Want More Sex? How to Get It, the more sex you have, the more that you want.
If you have sex less than once a week, you will begin having it less and less. This has happened in my own relationship a few times and one day I woke up and couldn’t remember the last time my Hubby and I did it.
I decided right then I needed to do something about it, even if I really wasn’t motivated to do so. So, I initiated sex that night, and the next, and the next. Within a week or so, we were right back to it often enough to keep us both satisfied.
Realistically, shit happens. Life gets in the way. There will be times when you don’t have sex for a week, or maybe two. Some people are not comfortable having sex while menstruating or you or your partner might be out-of-town for a week.
Perhaps you’re uncomfortable if you have company sleeping in the spare room or if your children are having a sleep over in the basement. That’s okay. What it really comes down to is if you and your partner are happy with your sex life. If you are both satisfied with the amount of sex you have, then that is the right amount for you. If either one of you aren’t satisfied with the amount of screwing going on, then someone do something about it.
First, talk about it, open and honestly and at the right time; not right after you got into a fight over whose turn it is to do the dishes or the fact that your mother-in-law is visiting for two weeks for the fourth time this year. Pick a time when it’s calm and no one is feeling hostile. Discuss that you would like sex more often and ask what you can do to make that a reality.
Don’t judge each other and keep an open mind.
Currently, my Hubby and I do it three to seven times a week, even if it’s just a quickly while the kids are in the bathtub or watching a movie. I find in my relationship, the more sex we have, the happier we are with each other. The less sex we have, the more we are not getting along.
To us, sex is the ultimate relationship measurer. And I’m not necessarily saying it’s the sex that makes the relationship better (although it might be), it could just be the outcome of having a great relationship.
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