Delayed ejaculation… While it may sound like a blessing, it’s actually not.
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So. Delayed Ejaculation.
Impacting an estimated one to three percent of men, delayed ejaculation is a condition where a man struggles to reach orgasm during sex or sexual play with a partner. It takes 30 minutes or more to reach ejaculation.
In most cases, this delay of climax occurs during sex with a partner. When it comes to masturbation, ejaculation occurs within a normal time frame.
Delayed Ejaculation Causes Distress
While many may give a nudge and a wink, delayed ejaculation is a serious condition. And one you don’t want to deal with, even if your lady friend is always complaining that she wants you to last longer (if that’s the case, check out these tips on how to last longer).
The vulva and vagina aren’t designed for endless pounding, and they can get sore and dry. Not to mention, your delayed orgasm may make your lover feel inadequate. They may think you’re not attracted to them or be concerned that their body doesn’t bring you pleasure.
Or, worse yet, they can be bored.
Let’s remember. The average length of sex is somewhere between five and seven minutes.
And then there’s the fact that if you can’t ejaculate in your partner, conception becomes pretty damn hard.
What Causes Delayed Orgasm
Here’s the thing about delayed ejaculation. In the majority of cases, there is no specific cause. Nothing identifiable through an MRI or a CT scan or blood draw.
No. Delayed orgasm most often does not have a physical cause. Instead, it results from:
- Stress and anxiety
- Shame and guilt surrounding sex
- Relationship issues
- Past trauma
- Misalignment between fantasy and reality
- Certain medications
- Overstimulation during masturbation
Treatments for Delayed Ejaculation
If you’re experiencing delayed ejaculation and it’s causing distress in your life, the first thing to do is talk to your primary care physician or your urologist. They can run some tests to ensure that all your plumbing is working right.
Once you make sure there isn’t a physical reason for your delayed orgasm, then start addressing some of these other areas:
- Sexual therapy, which can help you deal with guilt and shame around sex and assist you in overcoming any past sexual trauma
- Medications, although they’re all prescribed off label for Delayed Ejaculation, these three do seem to help some patients: Amantadine, Buspirone, and Cyproheptadine
- Changing your masturbation techniques to not rely on such a tight grip or methodical stroke pattern,
- Adding some novelty to your lovemaking, whether it’s in the form of dirty talk, rough play, kinky sex, or some new sex toys
- Increasing your arousal through pleasure points like your nipples, the frenulum, and the prostate
- Delay penetration as long as you can by engaging in oral sex, sixty-nining, and other forms of sexual play
- Engage in mindful sex, focusing on the pleasure you feel at any given moment, even when it’s not orgasmic
- Expand your definition of sex; it doesn’t have to be penis in vagina, and it doesn’t have to look any certain way
Make sure to keep communication open, honest, and supportive. Don’t be too hard on yourself. And celebrate little wins.
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