Sometimes, life gets the better of us. That was this past week for me. Life kicked in to full gear, with no regards to COVID or a mom who’s not used to having to leave the house 100 times a day after a year in quarantine.
So instead of a full-out reader question, I’m sharing a random handful of questions I received from readers this week and already answered in emails, Quora messages, and the like.
Last week I masturbated and after that I couldn’t get erect again, even though I tried a lot. Usually when fully aroused, I get up to 5.5 inches but after ejaculating once last week I wasn’t even able to get erect though I tried a lot. I felt like I have a baby’s dick. Is something wrong with me?
5.5 inches isn’t a baby dick. That’s right in the middle of normal. And if you’re stressed about this, or depressed about it, then it make senses that you’re not feeling it during masturbation. I’d suggest some stress relief. Meditation. Yoga. Running. Working out. Try this with your masturbation and see if it helps: Spice Up Your Masturbation Routine With Seduction.
You said that dick size doesn’t matter but don’t women want a bare minimum of it? For example, say at least 4 inches of it? I’ve never seen a dick in porn as small as mine.
It’s fully dependent on the woman. Some women are size queens. Most aren’t. Most don’t give a flying fuck. And know porn is not realistic. And they don’t hire men with average size penises. Just like they don’t hire women with average shaped bodies. Check out this YouTube video I just posted this week: Please Stop Fretting About Your Penis Size. It’s Normal. I Promise.
And then read this. Molly Carter’s answer to Does penis size matter for enjoyable sex? And then check out these 2 answers by gay men. Seriously. Read them. Dan Holliday’s answer to Does penis size really matters for comfortable sex? and Greg Holley’s answer to Does dick size really matter?
How does a vagina feel to touch? Is it always wet or bone dry? For example, if a woman is watching TV and not aroused and I put my finger in her vagina then will there be moisture on it?
The unaroused vagina does not have much moisture. If she’s just watching TV, it could even be difficult to get a finger in there. Think of a balloon. When she’s aroused, her vagina expands like a balloon. When she’s not, it’s like a deflated balloon. The walls touch and there is a lot of friction. While I wouldn’t necessarily call it dry, it’s definitely not wet. Maybe almost clammy but not quite.
When a woman gets aroused, the vulva itself slightly swells. Her outer labia sometimes separate a little, giving a view of her slit. When this happens, you can feel the wetness even on the slit, meaning you don’t have to penetrate her to tell.
If you were to stick a finger in her and feel around at this point, it’d wet and warm. The skin on the vaginal walls is smooth. And if she’s appropriately aroused, there will be space in there. Like you could wiggle your fingers a little. The entrance of her vagina will feel tight on the base of the fingers, but the vagina itself is not actually tight until she gets closer to orgasm.
If you reach up with those fingers that are in her pussy, imagine toward her ribs, you’ll feel her cervix. It’s a cone shape and you’re feeling the tip (although it’s not a sharp point, it’s rounded). It feels like what most organs feel like, but if you’re unfamiliar with that, it’s firm, but giving. The texture is smooth. She can’t really feel it though. There are no nerves on the cervix.
If you were to massage the G-spot area of her vagina, it can change texture, getting ridges. You can read more here: Your Ultimate Guide to the G-Spot Pleasure Zone.
Is your clitoris small or big in size? I mean if you open your undies, then is it easily visible or you need to specifically stretch open your vaginal lips to see and play with your clitoris? Does the size of clitoris make any difference in the pleasure which a woman feels?
Mine is normal. If my I’m shaved, the hood is visible. The clitoral glans normally stays beneath its hood until a woman is aroused. It’s typically found above the lips, but not always. You can learn more about the clitoris here: Meet Molly’s Golden Clitoris: A life-sized model of the lady’s pleasure organ.
It’s not believed that the size of the clitoris makes a difference in pleasure, but it’s location might. One study showed that if the clitoris was an inch or less from urethra, orgasms were easier. If it were an inch or more, orgasm through penetration was difficult at best.
Do you personally feel that dildos or vibrators do the same job as a dick? Would you ever prefer them over a real dick?
Well, a vibrator and a dildo are very different things and neither are like a penis, mostly because a penis is attached to a person. So they’re all different. A vibrator feels nothing like penis-in-vagina sex. It’s different. If you’ve ever used a vibrator near the head of the penis, I imagine it’s a similar experience.
As far as “doing the same job”… well if that job is orgasm, then yes, they can all do the job. Some more easily than others depending on many different things. So sometimes a vibrator will get her off when a man can’t and vice versa.
Do women sometimes prefer masturbation over sex? Absolutely. While they both offer an orgasm, they’re different. Masturbation can be soothing. Like you know what to do and how to make it feel good and there’s no pressure. And sometimes you just need stress release. Or help sleeping.
Has it ever happened before that you desperately needed a good fucking but no man was available to fuck you and you tried masturbation but it couldn’t satisfy your urges? How did you calm yourself down and if this situation arises would you just fuck anyone around if you? (Like a hungry lioness and devour any dick you could get). I am curious about women’s sexual urges.
No. If I need a good fucking and my Hubby isn’t around, I fuck myself. If I can’t get myself off, no one else is going to be able to do it either. And no. I would not just fuck anyone nor devour any dick I could get. The only dick for me is my Hubby’s.
I’ve read that the vagina is elastic but this belief is so rampant that I have to ask, does the tightness of vagina change as a woman gradually gets fucked over life? In your case have you observed your vagina getting bit loose over the course of time? For example at 16 years of age your vagina was too tight and now after so many fucking sessions and pregnancy, childbirth do you feel it’s gotten a bit loose?
There are four things that can stretch out a woman’s vagina. 1. Childbirth. 2. Weakening of the pelvic floor muscles 3. Post-menopausal hormonal issues (which doesn’t make the vagina loose, but ruins the elasticity and makes it painfully tight) 4. Certain rare diseases.
Now, does the woman who loves to get fisted have the same tight pussy as a 15 year old virgin? No. But neither does any woman who has any matter of sex. Vaginas are different. Different women have different tightness. But sex, even with a big cock, does not stretch her out for the long haul. It may stretch her for the night, but the vagina is resilient and returns to its normal state relatively quickly. If women practice Kegel exercises, it helps to keep the muscles strong and functioning.
Remember, a baby’s head is bigger than any cock out there and the vagina bounces back after that. No dick is going to “over stretch” her for the long haul.
Have you ever tasted your own pussy juices? How does it taste like and did it feel similar to other juices of women you’ve tasted?
Yes. It tastes like me. Shrugs. Molly Carter’s answer to What do vaginas taste like? Most women have the same underlying taste, but they’re all just a bit different.
Did you feel disgusted the first time you sucked a dick? I guess you love sucking it now but has it been always like that or it’s a acquired liking?
I can think of one specific situation that I didn’t want to be in that involved sucking a dick. Other than that, I can’t say I’ve ever been disgusted. I definitely didn’t enjoy it with other men as much as I do with my Husband. But I kind of get off on giving Him pleasure.
Is it true that after quite a lot of experience women prefer anal sex and do you also prefer anal over vaginal ?
Do all vaginas have a characteristic smell and does it depend on the female’s hygiene?
If she has good hygiene, no. The vagina is a self cleaning area, much like the nose. Like men’s semen, the vaginal fluids are highly influenced by dehydration and foods: How to Improve the Taste of Cum and Make Her Lick Her Lips. Plus sometimes the pH and/or the flora/fauna balance can influence taste. As can infections. During a yeast infection, for instance, she may actually taste sweeter than normal.
How do I overcome the fact that the vagina is the passage for period blood and fluids? Please don’t get me wrong, I do love pussy but I just want to be comfortable to suck and lick it.
You’ve just got to get over the menstruation. Urine comes through the penis. Menstrual fluids come through the vagina. Understand that when her period is over, the blood is gone. Again, a self-cleaning area. Be glad you don’t have to deal with it on the regular. Read #2 here: Molly Carter’s answer to What are some secret things that women will never tell men?
In terms of thrusting, do women developed a liking for deep and fast thrusts compared to shallow and slow thrusts? How should I thrust when I’m with my woman?
It all depends on the day and how she’s feeling. You’ll have to learn what she likes by watching her responses. Or, better yet, ask her.
My guess is that you usually keep your pussy shaved? Do you feel that a clean shaved pussy is much easier for your husband to lick compared to when you’ve bushy pussy?
Bushy or Bald: A Personal Analysis of Pubic Hair Shaving.
Have you ever had any STD? If yes, then what was it and how did you manage it?
Yes. I was in the research study for the HPV vaccine, Gardasil. About a year into the study, I tested positive for HPV. There’s nothing you can do for it, as it’s viral. I’ve never had any symptoms.
Also, when I was pregnant with my second child, I started having cramps and went to the ER. Tested positive for chlamydia. Chlamydia often goes dormant and won’t even show on an STD test. Because I had two pregnancies back to back, my immune system was bad and it flared. My hubby and I both had to take antibiotics.
Can you please advise how to last longer while thrusting? I want to thrust for say 20 minutes.
Well, 20 minutes is an extremely long time to engage in intercourse. The average is seven minutes. Check these out: 7 Tips on How to Last Longer in Bed and Reader Question: How can I last long enough for my girl?
Learning orgasm control can also help you learn to be able to go a long time. But it takes practice and time to learn.
Check back next month. I’m hoping to have a course built around it.
What is your favorite sexual fantasy?
Molly Carter’s answer to What sort of erotic fantasies do women have?
Is it bad for my health that I often masturbate more than once a day?
Is making love during pregnancy good?
Yep. There’s no reason not to unless the doctor tells her because she’s cramping or something. Which is rare. But sex doesn’t hurt the baby. Not one bit.
Have you slept with someone before your marriage?
I had lovers before I was married. My Husband was the fifth man I’d slept with. And I’d been with three women at that point in time.
What is one position you would recommend that has maximum satisfaction during sex?
It totally depends on the woman, on the man, and on the circumstance. I would say for most women, girl on top is the most satisfying, but that’s because it puts her in charge of depth and tempo.
If she has a good lover who knows what he’s doing and does it well, I think a woman on her back, knees pulled in, feet on or near his chest or over his shoulders with pillows under her hips… That position can hit all the right spots if done right and if she’s aroused before you fuck her. Which she should be if you’re a good lover because a good lover gets her off at least once before he fucks her.
What was your highest score of orgasms in one session?
I couldn’t even begin to guess…. Molly Carter’s answer to How many orgasms a woman can have during sex?
I had a sex with a woman not once but many times. Because of her I’m addicted to sex. Like I just want it….so I just started having it with another woman and my neighbor lady and my own gf and just many more. Now I’m just a Fuck Boi, which I never wanted to be and I’m just 18 years old. What do I do?
First, understand you’re not alone. A lot of folks frenzy when they start actually having sex.
My biggest concern for you would be making sure you’re using condoms so you and your partners stay safe. Many STDs don’t have symptoms and can spread easily (its estimated that nearly 80% of sexually active people have HPV), so just make sure you’re wrapping it up.
My next concern would be about honesty and trust. Do all these women know you’re sleeping with other women? If so, no problem. But if not, it could easily blow up in your face.
This isn’t quite relevant to you, but check out this post: High Sex Drive: How Do I Deal with It and Can I Find a Similar Partner?
Can having a lot of sex affect my stamina or my dick?
No, it won’t effect your dick or your stamina. But it does impact the dopamine circuit in the brain. In much the same way drugs do. But if you’re not having any of the difficulties in your daily functioning or how you interact with people, than you’re likely okay on that.
How can I get my girl off faster?
Learn to give good head. And how to massage her g-spot. But also understand that in general, it takes women much longer than men (like 20 minutes compared to 5).
But check these out:
Your Ultimate Guide to the G-Spot Pleasure Zone – Your Best Sexual Self
Your Guide to Eating Pussy – Your Best Sexual Self
Female Ejaculation: A Guide to Making Her Squirt – Your Best Sexual Self