Mmmm… Yes, right there… A little harder… Oh, that’s perfect…
We all like to know that are lovers are enjoying themselves when we’re doing whatever it is that we are doing… sucking their dick, licking their pussy, playing with their ass. The moans and groans of pleasure are sexy as hell, but you know what’s even sexier… talking dirty.
But sometimes it’s hard to know what to say. How do you start? How do you know your lover will like it? What if you sound like a bad porn star? We all have these concerns, but with a little guidance and some practice, you’ll have Jenna Jameson sounding like your grandma at Sunday mass.
The Basics to Talking Dirty
So you want to start talking dirty. Or maybe you want your lover to talk dirty to you. Well, the first thing to do is ask. Here are two options: 1. Talk about it before hand, at a non-sexual moment. Or 2. Bring it up in the middle of some hot sexy love makin’.
Either way you choose, here are some general pointers to help get you used to the concept.
- Ask questions of your lover: How does that feel? Do you like it when I do (insert verb)? Not only will this get you talking, but it opens the door for your partner as well. It’s always sexier when it’s a conversation, and not just one-sided. Added bonus — you may find out secret things that turn your lover on. Ask her things like, “What do you want,” “What turns you on?” Her responses might surprise you.
- Use bad words. When you’re under the covers, it’s okay to use words you normally wouldn’t. Words like pussy. Cunt. Dick. Cock. Fuck. It adds to the rawness, the pure sexuality, of the situation. Especially if these are words you normally don’t use (if you use them regularly, I’m assuming you wouldn’t be looking for info on talking dirty). Using “dirty” language also pushes our limits. Makes us somewhat uncomfortable. And if we’re uncomfortable, we’re aware, sensitive to those things going on around us. Remember, to keep sex alive and sexy, sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone.
- It’s okay to laugh. We laugh when we are having fun. Good sex is fun. If you are just starting to engage in “dirty talk,” be ready to giggle. You might be nervous, you may feel slightly uncomfortable. And you’re more likely to laugh when you’re unsure. It’s okay. Understand that your partner isn’t going to judge you… Although it may sound funny, odd, or ridiculous to you, your “naughty” may turn them on more than you thought.
How to Start Talking Dirty
When you’re ready to start talking dirty, you may not know how or when to jump in. Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered with step by step details.
- Emails and texts. Sometimes it’s easier to put things in writing than it is to say them out loud. If you’re having trouble verbalizing your “dirty talk,” start with sending him a sexy text. It can be as simple as “last night was great… thinking of a replay” or “I’ve been thinking of going down on you all day… are you up for that?” Or, if you are comfortable with it, and a little more promiscuous, you could try something like “I can’t wait to suck your cock tonight” or “I really need to fuck you.” Either way, start the conversation. I promise, this is the hardest step and once you’re past it, things get much easier.
- Moan and Groan. If you aren’t quite ready to put the “naughty” words out there, at least make sure you are letting your lover know that you are enjoying what’s happening. You’d be surprised at what a little animalistic noises can do for your psyche and your arousal.
- Talk Dirty. Once you’re comfortable expressing your pleasure through sounds, it’s time to move forward. If you don’t know where to start, talk about what’s going on, what he’s doing to you. You can say things like: “I love it when you lick my pussy like that.” Or “You feel so tight.” Maybe “Your dick is so hard.” “That feels sooo good.” “You’ve made my pussy so wet.” You get the picture. If you’re hesitant, just say something (anything) and see what the response is. I’ll bet that it will be a positive.
- Try Not to Give a Play-by-Play. Keep in mind that giving an exact play-by-play isn’t that sexy. It’s hot to say “You cock is so hard. I love it when you fuck me.” It’s not so sexy to say “Now I’m licking your pussy. Now I’m fucking you. I’m rubbing your clit…” Yada, yada, yada. There is an extent to the play-by-play. Say how good it feels, don’t detail your every move.
- Explain what you want. “I really love it when you (verb) my (body part).” Whether it is lick my pussy or fuck my ass, well dear reader, that is all up to you. But there is never any shame in telling your lover what you want from them and telling them what turns you on.
If you want to talk dirty, but don’t know what to say, fake it ’til you make it. After all, practice makes perfect. If you are at a lack of ideas, try some of these:
- You taste so good.
- You’re so beautiful when you cum like that.
- Ride me.
- I want you to suck my cock.
- It feels so good when your fingers are in my pussy.
- I want to make you cum so hard.
- Tell me what you want, baby.
- Good girl.
And the list goes on and on. Find what works for you. What feels natural coming out of your mouth. What your lover responds to, and embrace it!
Until next time,
Keep on lovin’!