Some studies estimate that, in any given year, nearly 60% of women don’t masturbate. I can’t imagine a life without masturbation. I’ve masturbated as long as I can remember, at least starting in my very early teens.
I read my first romance novel when I was in sixth grade. I would stay up late, reading with a flashlight. It seems so cliché, looking back, but I’m guessing that’s probably when it started. I would sneak my mom’s PlayGirl magazines and always read the stories. I would get wet, touch myself, but hadn’t really realized that there was more.
Then one day I read a story where a girl straddled a window while fingering herself (she was showing off for her sexy neighbor) and so I took my magazine from my bed, went to the bathroom, and straddled the side of tub. And that is the only way I masturbated for the next decade or so.
Then, in my early 20s, I was sharing a single-bathroom house with four other people and using the bathroom for masturbation was no longer an option. I then went on a mission to learn to masturbate all over again. It took awhile, but I finally learned how to get myself off without having to use a vibrator and without having to “ride” something.
Since I had this problem, and in talking to women over the years, I’ve come to realize that many women aren’t sure how to masturbate. They may find one way that works for them and then they stick to that same routine for years. While that’s all fine and good, I thought I’d offer a helpful hand with a guide on how to get down dirty on the solo.
Without further ado, here’s your:
Guide to Female Masturbation
Start Off Right
If you’re trying something new, it helps to set the mood. Relax.Take a bath, lotion yourself up. Make yourself feel sexy. Have a little wine. Obviously, you don’t need to do these things every time you masturbate, but, even if it’s not your first time, sometimes it’s nice to take your time and seduce yourself.
Take some time and build a fantasy. Think about a really hot sex session you’ve had, or one that you’d like to. If you prefer, read a sexy story or put in a porn that will turn you on. I masturbate to porn a lot. I like it.
When you’re ready, touch yourself. If you are new to masturbating, start slow, touching yourself in different places and in different ways. Tug on your nipples, rub your inner thighs. Remember, it’s not just your clit and vagina. I like to touch the outside of my pussy, cup my vulva, play with my outer labia, pulling on them just slightly. I also play with my nipples a lot, especially once I’m excited, as it helps me cum.
If you’re still struggling, try it in the tub. Many women like to masturbate in the tub as it helps you relax and, let’s face it, bodies always feel sexy when they’re wet. An old roommate taught me a bathtub technique once.
She would lay on her back with her feet up on the shower wall, with her pussy positioned under the faucet. She would get the water just right so that it was hitting her clit over and over again. It made her cum so quick. I’ve tried it. It feels great, but doesn’t work for me… I tend to need a lot of pressure to cum, but it’s a great warm up.
Bring on the Clitoral Stimulation
First, understand that masturbation, like most things, is different for everybody. What feels good for me, might not do the trick for you. So play around. See what feels good. Experiment. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
Begin touching yourself with a figure eight. Take one or two fingers and trace a figure eight around your pussy. Start at the side of your clit, go up and around the hood, then cross back over, and run your finger(s) around the bottom of your vaginal opening. Continue the pattern, modifying where you see necessary.
Try different pressures, speeds, directions. Make pit stops. Run a few circles around your clit, dip a finger into your pussy, do whatever feels good.
Spread your lips. Take your pointer and index fingers and use them to spread your outer lips apart. Use your middle finger to play with your clit. Rub it back and forth. Do circles over it. I once read that more women use a circular motion to cum than any other movement, specifically a clockwise circle (if you’re looking down at your pussy).
This position also makes it nice and easy to take your middle finger and insert it. Pull up some of those pussy juices to keep your clit lubricated and slippery.
Don’t ignore the hood. Many women find pleasure when they play with the hood of their clit. Put your fingers on the skin surrounding your clit (sometimes, especially depending on arousal, it may be hard to do this because the clit engorges, swelling up past the skin), and rub your fingers lightly back and forth, making the skin massage your clit.
This is really useful if your clit is extra sensitive, as it takes away the direct pressure.
And then the Vaginal Stimulation
When it comes to vaginal stimulation during female masturbation, not everyone goes there. Me, I do about 25% of the time. I like to use two fingers, sometimes even three, when I finger myself.
Make sure that your nails are short and smooth, or you may cause yourself some pain. Start with one finger, and play, pushing it in and out of you pussy. Depending on how that feels, add another or two. Or three.
You can also press the heel of your hand against your clit and kind of grind on it while your fingers play in your pussy. You’ll need to find what works for you. Some like an in-and-out motion, others like to move their fingers only on the inside, touching the vaginal walls.
You can also try some G-spot stimulation. While touching your vaginal walls, massage the front wall, about two to three inches in (give or take in either direction). Think of it as trying to touch the back of your clit.
As you become excited, you’ll feel an area that feels a little different–kind of like it has ridges on it. That’s your G-Spot. Massage it, trying different pressures. It may become harder and that’s a good thing. Continue to touch it, applying pressure. If you relax and are really enjoying it, this can bring on female ejaculation.
Turn to the Toys
No talk of female masturbation would be complete without a brief discussion on sex toys. Depending on what toys you have, you can use any of the above techniques with a vibrator or dildo, just make sure if you’re masturbating in the tub, you use a water proof toy.
You can also find vibrators for you clit, ones for penetration, some specially designed to hit your G-Spot, and some that do all of that and more. Play around. Find what works for you.
A word of caution, especially for those new to masturbating. A vibrator can make you cum much quick and harder than manual stimulation. That’s fine. Pretty amazing, really. But don’t solely rely on vibrations to get you off. Some women who only use a vibrator get to the point where they must have it to cum, as it actually desensitizes the nerve endings.
And I don’t know about you, but I don’t ever want to have my pussy desensitized.
Molly’s Final Thoughts
Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to masturbate. Everyone likes different things. Many women add different props (pillows, bath tubs, electric toothbrushes…), use different positions, touch themselves in different places and in different ways.
Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t feel guilty. Remember, it’s about your self pleasure.
If you are just learning, take it slow. Don’t try to get off, just do it to pleasure yourself. When you first start, and are learning how to touch yourself and what works for you, it will feel good. But it may take sometime to learn to bring you to climax. Don’t stress about it. Just take the pleasure and keep on practicing!
There are benefits to masturbation, other than the obvious one of pleasure, so do it for your health. Masturbation helps you to get to know your body. It can improve your sleep. Temporarily lower your pain level. And reduce stress.
Self-awareness, less pain, more sleep, and stress reduction… Who doesn’t want that?
In my opinion, the best part of masturbating isn’t the pleasure, it’s learning what turns you on and how you like to be touched. And then being able to pass that information on to your lover.