I think porn gets a bad rep.
I happen to like porn. A lot. And apparently so does most of America. Yet we judge porn-watching people all the time. And nobody admits to it, but come the fuck on folks, it’s estimated that 40 million Americans watch porn regularly.
I get that people have hang-ups with porn. Things like safe sex, the objectification of women (how come no one’s worried about the objectification of men in porn? I, myself, love objectifying a nice hard cock), drug use, under age girls, and the list goes on and on.
But the industry has changed and there are good things in porn too. Not only does it get us off when we need a helping hand, but it can bring couples closer and help them to explore new and previously unexplored history.
So here’s a short list I compiled of things that we can all learn from porn.
Kissing Is Good
After the intro, most porns start with kissing. It may be opened mouth and it may be sloppy, but it’s amazing to me how many couples go days without ever kissing each other, even when they do fuck. But you should. Kissing not only is a great way to kick in foreplay, but it also reduces stress and lets you focus on the moment and quiet the rest of your mind.
The Order of Events
In most porns, there’s a specific order of events. First kissing and touching. Then some pussy licking, followed by a blow job, and then the couple moves onto fucking. Well, that’s about exactly how most sex sessions should play out if there’s enough time. Get her warmed up. Her pussy wet. Then get her off. Move on to a blow job. This gets him hard right before sex. If you suck his cock first, there’s a good chance he’ll loss his erection when he’s going down on you. Do things in this order, and not only will her pussy still be wet and ready, but his cock will be hard as steel for the grand finale.
Get Vocal
The sounds of sex are arousing, not only to your partner, but to the moaner as well. You don’t have to be explicit and vulgar if it makes you uncomfortable, talking about pussy and cock and what not, and you don’t have to fake it (please don’t actually), but make same damn noise. Give into it, moan, gasp, say how good it feels. I promise, once you get used to it, you’ll love it and your sex life will get hotter.
Switch It Up
Yes some of us may start with her on top and then move to missionary, but in porn, they’re always switching positions and moving around. When you’re fucking, fuck. Move around. Flip over. Contort yourself into different positions. Make a mess out of the sheets. A fucked in bed should look like it survived a tornado and avalanche, not just have the comforter out of place.
Touch Yourself
In porn, both women and men touch themselves, and they do it a lot. Whether it’s masturbating for him, or stroking himself a bit while she gets on all fours, it’s sexy as hell to watch someone touch themselves. Not only is it hot, but it lets your partner know you’re having a good time and tuned into what’s going on.
A Little Bit of Spit Isn’t a Bad Thing
The truth of the matter is sex is better when it’s wet. It doesn’t need to be dripping wet, but it shouldn’t be the Sahara either. And sometimes the lube machine attached to a woman’s vagina doesn’t work well and a little bit of help is appreciated. And you know what, spit is just about perfect to add that little bit of help. It’s easy, it’s handy, and it makes things oh so much better. So don’t be afraid to get some spit on your fingers or the head of your cock before fucking. It’s okay. Really. **PSA: Ladies, don’t freak out if he does this. He’s not degrading you. He’s trying to fuck you and make it feel better. Get over yourself.**
And Neither Is a Smack on the Ass
I know not everybody’s not necessarily into whips and chains, but a little unexpected rough play can turn mediocre sex into great sex. Now, “a little unexpected rough play” can mean a bit of a hair pull, a not too hard smack to the ass, or nails raked down his back. It does not mean hold her down without permission, it does not mean wrap your hand around her neck and squeeze, and it doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want. It means a little ass smack is okay. So’s a quick fist in the hair. Use your common sense here people.
Go With the Flow
Random things happen during sex, and while porn cuts most of that out (after all there’s a director there to let you know you’re about to fall out of bed), things still happen. If his cock slips out while fucking, so what, grab the beast and put it back in. If your bra strap breaks while your in reverse cowgirl, who cares? Take it off and keep on bouncing. Go with the flow, don’t worry about the small stuff, and see where the night takes you.
She Cums First
Ah, the old adage. But come on guys, it’s true. Get her off before you cum. Please. And if you don’t, do it afterwards. Perhaps this is one of the most important things you can learn from porn, and it is so important. It doesn’t really matter if you do it with your fingers, with your tongue, or with your cock, just make sure she gets her piece of the pie too.
It’s Supposed to Be Fun
Remember, sex is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to put a smile on your face and a wet spot on your sheets. Let it be. Don’t stress about the stupid shit like the little bit of dimpling on your thighs or the fact that you’re make up may be smeared. Fuck that. Throw yourself into the depths of great sex and fuck like it’s your last chance.
So those are my list of 10 things you can learn from porn. Do you have anything to add?
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